


The Mermaids In The Basement

by aliensinflowercrowns



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Fantasy, M/M, forced marriage - but not really, i lowkey love this so fight me, idk like old timey, mermaid!au, so period typical homophobia, sort of victorian ish??, the murphys are nobles and evan is a mermaid, this fic is not kind to jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-03-05 02:17:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensinflowercrowns/pseuds/aliensinflowercrowns
Summary: His mother had warned him about The Up. He thought he was careful. He’d tried so hard. He never ventured away from the shoal. He kept his head down, and stayed close to his mother. But he’d gotten lost. Oh so lost. And now he was going to die.Evan is a mermaid captured by humans. Connor is a noble whose father collects rarities. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. chapter the first

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a new series i'm starting..... because i'm so good at managing multiple fics at a time..... but I have like several deh mermaid aus and i want to write them. this is the first one. duh. 
> 
> it'll probably be around 10-20k words and like 5ish chapters. um.... i'm not gonna make any promises about update times because i'm trash but i'm excited for this so i hope y'all enjoy

Larry Murphy was a purveyor of  _ things _ . He was a novelistic, self made man who’d risen up from nothing, and sometimes it seemed he was always expecting to go back to the same nothingness he’d been trying to run away from his whole life. Thus, Larry would collect as many  _ things _ as possible. Material objects that supposedly offered concrete proof that he was worth something. 

He was also a man obsessed with self image. Larry Murphy was a pretender. He pretended that his marriage was perfect. He pretend his name was actually Lawrence and that he only went by Larry. He pretended he didn’t start out as an idealistic kid whom the Baron’s daughter had a crush on. He pretended he understood his children. He pretended he cared more about his  _ things _ than he did about the status he felt they provided him. Larry, in short, pretended that he had the perfect life. 

For the most part, he succeeded in fooling everyone. From the outside, Larry did have the perfect life. He’d married the daughter of the Baron Murphy and inherited massive amounts of wealth and power. He had two healthy, attractive children. He lived in a large house near the sea with servants to attend to his many needs and a world famous collection of various artifacts that people from the four corners of the nation would travel to see. The only black spot on his reputable image of perfection was his oldest son. Connor. 

There is an idea that every parent is cursed to have a child exactly like them. Larry Murphy did not believe this saying. Connor was everything he wasn’t.

Connor did not care about his reputation. He actively shunned all of the things that Larry had worked so hard to give him. He couldn’t give a passing damn about manners or how one behaves in polite society. He was volatile. He was blunt. He was disgraceful. 

Sometimes it seemed that he did things specifically to bother his father. Once, when he was twelve, he took a knife to all of his expensive clothing for seemingly no reason. When he was fourteen, he drew lewd pictures in squid ink all over his walls. When he was sixteen, got himself kicked out of the best boarding school in the country, as he would rather sneak off campus to get inebriated and then get in fights with teachers and the other boys than go to class. 

Connor, of course, did none of these things specifically to bother his father. In fact, when Connor did all of these things, his father was the furthest thought from his mind. He cut up his clothing because the fabric was itchy and didn’t fit him right, and no one would listen to him when he said that he didn’t want to wear them. He inked lewd pictures on his wall because he felt lewd inside and he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. He got kicked into fights with teachers and students because they disrespected him, patronized him, and acted as though he was worthless and ruinous. Why would he want to be around that? He got high because it was the only thing that tampered the constant fire on his skin which caused his blood to boil. Also, getting high felt nice. Connor and his father were far more alike than either of them would prefer to admit. They’re both stubborn, opinionated, mildly aggressive, and completely uncomfortable with the life they were born in to. 

\---

Connor was not always as alone as he felt at age seventeen. Once upon a time, there was Zoe. Once upon a time, there was ConnorandZoe. ZoeandConnor. Best friends. Partners in crime. Inseparable. The Murphy children. “Are you sure you aren’t twins?” Zoe could count on Connor for anything and everything, and Connor could do the same. 

The two would sneak out at parties, Connor in his itchy clothing and Zoe in her stifling dress, and the would travel down the dunes and on to the beach. They would strip down to their undergarments and play in the sand. And then Connor would venture towards the water, and Zoe would call out in warning, because the tides could be unpredictable and if they got hurt no one would know that they were out on the beach. But Connor would smile at his sister, the moonlight making the dual chromatic nature of his eyes even more noticeable than usual and assure her that nothing would happen, and if something tried to happen, Connor would save her. He would always save her. 

And there would be a moment where Zoe would glance back at the house and the party and the lights and think about the adults drinking booze and playing billiards and her thoughts would wander to her mother pushing her around the room showing her off to different nobles who would all ask her the same questions, and she would consider going back. But she would turn her head back to her brother and smile softly, the corners of her mouth flicking up in a way that one would only notice if they were looking, for she wasn’t smiling because she felt as though she was smiling, she was smiling because she couldn’t help it; and she would run towards her brother, her small feet kicking up sand, and she would catapult into the sea, going farther than Connor had ever anticipated. And the two of them were mermaids gracefully dancing in the starlight, until the wee hours of the morning when they would pick up their clothes and trudge back up to their house, and both walk in to the same bedroom, falling asleep cuddled up next to each other on a bed big enough to hold seven children. And Cynthia would come find them for breakfast, and see the tears in their clothes and the sand in their hair and they way that they slept so intertwined with each other you couldn’t quite tell where one ended and the other began, and she would smile, because she loved that her children loved each other so profusely one could call them soulmates. 

But that was then. And then is not now. Now there is Zoe. And there is Connor. And there is a gaping chasm between them that neither could even begin to fathom how to cross. 

Connor felt as though Zoe had become like everyone else. She had embraced their parents arrogant lifestyle and didn’t care about being true to anything, just popularity and power. Everything she did got under his skin. People flocked to her as if she was God’s saving grace while Connor was barely in the background. Worst of all, Zoe hated him. She treated him the same as everyone else did - maybe even worse. 

Zoe felt as though Connor had shut her out. One day he had switched, and suddenly Zoe wasn’t an exception anymore, she was part of the problem. He was angry and violent and rude towards her. She felt lost. She didn’t fit in with her family, she didn’t fit in with society. She could never do anything right.

So she shut down, and started to go with the motions. She became what everyone expected her to be. She was so tired of trying to work against the current. But she never felt as though she was really there. Worst of all, Connor hated her. He treated her the same as he treated everyone else - maybe even worse. 

The animosity between them grew until they could hardly be in the same room. Zoe and Connor were no longer magnets pulling together, they were volatile elements that if combined would cause a massive explosion. And neither knew exactly how or when the switch had come about. 

\---

When Connor was seventeen and Zoe was sixteen, both of their parents made humongous decisions at roughly the same time. 

Cynthia Murphy sat down with Annalise Beck for their Saturday Tea. The two began to talk about their children, when a brilliant idea struck her. 

“My Connor and your Alana should be married!”

Annalise gaped at her. Cynthia rushed to explain. 

“Well, Connor has always been such a hothead, and Alana is so calming and patient. She’s also one of the few girls who’ve never been hateful towards him. She and Zoe are already friends, so we wouldn’t have to worry about them not getting along, and I think she would do wonders in reining in Connor’s behavior. And you say that Alana has problems with restlessness and wants to go to university and do all of the things that just aren’t suited for a woman, but marriage brings so many new routines and structures and things to do that her inane fantasies would be quelled within a month. Besides, they both like literature and intellectualism… I think they’d get along swimmingly.”

Cynthia beamed at her friend. Annalise bit her bottom lip, her hand clenching her teacup. 

“Alana is… a strange girl. I… I worry about her. She’s never had much… um…  _ interest _ in men…” 

Cynthia laughed. “Oh, Connor is the same way. I don’t think we have much to worry about. They’ll both learn and adapt eventually.” 

There was a fat pregnant silence from Annalise. She looked around the Murphy’s household. They were far better off than she and her husband, and Cynthia, Zoe, and Larry all seemed like kind hearted people. She knew Alana got on very well with Zoe, but she worried about Connor. Annalise had heard the rumors about him, and she’d heard complaints from his own mother. She didn’t want to marry her daughter off to someone who could harm her. Then again, Connor had actually heart another person, he was just a little rebellious and could be mean spirited. And Alana didn’t exactly have suitors lining up and down the street. Cynthia’s offer was probably the best that they would get. Besides, if Alana refused, they could always call of the engagement. 

“I’ll talk to my husband about it,” Annalise said, knowing full well her husband would have minimal interest or involvement in the decision. 

“As will I,” Cynthia said, knowing full well that Larry would be willing to do anything to force Connor to “grow up.” 

And with that, the fate of Connor Murphy and Alana Beck was sealed. 

On the other side of the Kingdom, Larry Murphy was also making a decision that would affect the fates of his children. Murphy’s reputation for collecting oddities and his fat pocketbook made him the subject of many calls promising unfathomable riches. Most turned out to be bullshit, but when the claims were true, the rewards were great. 

Earlier in the week, Larry had gotten a call from a university professor, claiming that one of his young students had discovered something wonderful one of his most recent sea voyages. Larry had done business with this particular professor in the past, and though he refused actually say what this treasure was, Larry decided to trust him. 

He was not disappointed. 

Money was exchanged, terms were discussed, and arrangements were made. It would arrive next week. 

\---

He was warm. So warm. Too warm. He felt sick. He felt lonely. He felt naked. Where was his heart? Where was his mother? Where was his shoal?

The strange fish was talking to him again. He did not understand what the other was trying to say. His voice was loud and grating. Sometimes he tried to touch him, or poke at him with long rods that he didn’t recognize. He didn’t recognize anything. He was so scared. 

He felt like a failure. 

His mother had warned him about The Up. He thought he was careful. He’d tried so hard. He never ventured away from the shoal. He kept his head down, and stayed close to his mother. But he’d gotten lost. Oh so lost. And now he was going to die.

\---

Dinners at the Murphy household were strained and tenuous affairs. It was as though the dining table sat on newly formed ice, and any sudden movement would plunge the whole room into dark, freezing water. 

Larry arrived later than usual, as Cynthia was setting the table. They had servants - as any respectable house would - but she felt as though doing the bulk of the housework herself “fostered a better family relationship.” 

He shuffled through the door, shedding his outerwear and passing by his wife without acknowledgement. 

“Hello, love,” She called out as he passed her. 

The two had discussed the issue of Connor extensively. First with each other, then with Annalise and her husband, then with each other again, and they had come to the conclusion that tonight would be the night they would tell him. Larry’s package was arriving tomorrow and along with it was the young scientist who had discovered it. The Murphy parents didn’t want their son to cause a terrible scene while they had a guest. Hopefully he would get his meltdown over with that night, and would simply be sulking tomorrow. 

Cynthia sighed at Larry’s lack of response. She’d been hoping he would be more engaged tonight. 

“Kids!” She called out. “Larry! Dinner!”

There was no response. Cynthia blamed on the large house, because she liked to be optimistic. 

“Dana,” She said, grabbing on to the arm of a passing servant. “Would you be a dear and fetch the rest of my family?”

The servant girl looked at her with wide eyes. “Connor as well?” She asked. 

“Yes,” Cynthia said, her voice steely. “Connor as well. Is that going to be a problem?”

The girl shook her head vigorously. “No ma’am. I’ll get right to that, ma’am.” The girl sprinted off and Cynthia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She felt far older than her 36 years.

Zoe bounded down the stairs, strands of her hair falling out of her messy hairdo, her purple silk dress swishing around her bare feet. 

“Good evening, mother,” She said, her voice bored and flat. 

Cynthia snapped out of her hunched position and in to her perky hostess tone. “Good evening, lovely.” She smiled at her daughter. Zoe was such an easy child. The two sat at opposite ends of the table. It was silent. 

Sometimes Zoe hated her life. She was always bored. Always overshadowed by her brother. She felt as though she was one of her father’s collected items. Pretty and vapid, made to be shown off and collect dust. She wished her mother would ask her about her day. She didn’t. 

Larry walked in next, nodding to his daughter as he took a seat next to his wife. 

Then, they waited. 

Connor was often late to dinner. Connor often didn’t show up to dinner at all. Sometimes Cynthia or Larry would allow them to start eating without them. Other times they waited. 

Larry’s teeth were clenched. Cynthia’s smile was tight. Zoe was bored. 

Eventually, Connor’s heavy steps echoed through the house. He was dressed in dark, commoner clothes and heavy boots, with charcoal all over his hands, face, and clothes. His long hair was wild and not tied back. He sat next to Zoe, harshly plopping down into the chair. He rested his elbow on the table and his face in his hand and started eating without acknowledging the rest of his family. He smelled like smoke. 

Zoe scoffed quietly, and started eating as well. 

“Fuck you, Zoe,” Connor snapped. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Zoe protested. 

“Language, Connor!” Cynthia said. 

“I could feel you fucking judging me.”

“You are so arrogant! The world doesn’t revolve around you, asshole!”

“Both of you, stop!” 

“I’m the arrogant one?! Are you fucking kidding me you’re -”

“You are so arrogant! You think you can just waltz in here, high off your ass on who knows what like some kind of gutter rat -”

“Gutter rat. Wow, Zoe, elitist much?”

“You don’t even care that you made the rest of us wait to eat -”

“I didn’t ask you to wait for me -”

“Both of you! Please! Stop!” Cynthia’s voice and face were strained. 

“Sorry, mother,” Zoe said. 

Connor said nothing, but went back to his plate.

For a while, there were no sounds beg the scraping of silverware and the scuttling of servants. Then Larry cleared his throat. 

“Connor,” He began. 

“Larry,” Connor responded, his voice testing. 

Larry swallowed his snap about respect. He wanted this to go over as smoothly as possible. “Your mother and I have been talking…”

“Really? I thought you just yelled at each other nowadays.”

“Connor, please,” Cynthia said. 

Larry clenched his fork so that his knuckles went white. “Your mother and I have been talking,” His voice was strained. “And… you’re seventeen now… we think it’s time to think about marriage.”

Connor let out a harsh bark of laughter. “You’re kidding, right?”

Cynthia stepped in. “We were talking to Annalise Beck, and her daughter Alana -”

Zoe cut her off. “Wait, Alana?! Connor can’t marry Alana! She… we’re… she doesn’t deserve that!” 

“I’m not getting fucking married!” Connor said.

“Connor, please it’s not a bad thing it’s -”

“No! I can’t believe you would fucking do this behind my back! I won’t go through with it. I’ll fucking… I’ll run away! I’ll kill myself! I’m not fucking doing it!” 

“Connor, stop being childish!” 

Connor stood up, his chair clattering to the floor. 

“NO! Fuck. No.”

Larry stood up as well. Zoe sprang from her chair, running to her room. 

“This is not a discussion, young man. You should be grateful we’re giving you as much notice as we are.” His voice was dark and dangerous. 

Connor grabbed his plate and hurled it at the wall. It shattered into pieces. “Fuck you!” He yelled, then ran up to his room. A door slam rattled through the house. 

Larry sat back down and sighed. His shoulder sagged. 

“I don’t…” Cynthia said. “I don’t know if…”

“This will be good for him,” Larry responded. “He needs to learn responsibility. He needs to grow up.”

“But he’s so upset!”

“He’ll get over it. He just wants attention.” 

\---

He was moving. Moving like he’d never moved before. The water was sloshing unpredictably. It was not like the soothing current. It was jerky and painful. It was still too warm. 

The sun had burned him. He’d never seen it so close. The strange fish - no. Man. He was called Man - had covered him. He almost felt thankful. But then he remembered all that Man had done to him and he was angry again. 

It was strange. Anger was a new feeling. He was used to being scared, or confused, or, occasionally, content. But not angry.

Now the anger consumed him, spreading over his body like a rot. 

Some small part of him hoped he was being taken back home. He could smell the sea, feel that he was going towards it, but he knew that was delusional. He couldn’t go anywhere without his heart. He would never see his mother again. He would never hear her voice or nuzzle her neck. He had not made any noise since his capture, but he was so overcome with emotion that he couldn’t help it. He began to wail, in anguish, in agony, and in the delusional hope that his mother would hear him. 

\---

“Holy shit,” Jared said. “Holy shit! Stop the caravan, stop the fucking caravan!” 

“But, Mister Kleinman we’ve almost arrived -”

“Stop the fucking caravan!” 

“Alright!” The driver cracked his whip and moved the caravan to the side of the road. It came to a stop. Jared scrambled out and revealed the back, where the siren was being held. His initial assumption was right. It was making the noise. 

Jared had always been smart. His somewhat insufferable personality made it difficult for people to appreciate his intelligence, but it was there. He finished his schooling at the top of his class and was accepted into a top university to study biology. He had discovered Evan - named for a childhood best friend who died of pneumonia - on a routine sea expedition. So far the creature had been exceptionally uncooperative, always shying away from him and not responding to any of Jared’s questions or tests. Jared had started to wonder if he was even semi intelligent. 

But now he was talking. 

Well, screaming.

Wailing?

It was very high pitched, whatever it was. 

The strangest part was that his mouth wasn’t open. Jared pulled out the small notebook he kept in his pocket for observations on Evan’s behavior and jotted it down. 

  * Wails - mouth not open



Evan didn’t seem to notice that Jared was watching him. 

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked. 

The wailing stopped. 

Evan stared at him with his owlish eyes, bright blue and slightly glowing. He was still for a second, and then darted to the corner of the tank, his translucent blue tail swishing in Jared’s direction. 

“Dammit,” Jared hisses. “So what? Now you aren’t talking to me?” He rolled his eyes. “I guess that sentence would be predicated on the false assumption that you ever talked to me in the first place.” Jared walked towards the tank. “Can you even hear me?” He tapped on the glass. “Hey! I’m talking to you!” 

Evan did not respond. Jared was expecting him to at least jump at the tap, but there was nothing. Nothing happened. As fucking usual. 

Jared pressed his hand to the glass and leaned in. “I know you can hear me, asshole. I am not going to rest until you fucking cooperate with me. You are my discovery. You are going to put me on the map. I’ve worked my ass off for eighteen years and I’m not going to let some slimy fish keep me from getting the recognition I deserve.” 

Evan blinked, very slowly. Jared had noticed in his early examinations that he had two eyelids. The adipose eyelid, found in most deep sea fish, and the same eyelid that all mammals had. He rarely blinked, and didn’t even sleep with his eyes closed, so Jared had assumed that the secondary eyelid was used for communication. He wondered what Evan was trying to say. The muscles in Evan’s mouth twitched, almost incomprehensibly, and then, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it quick, he lunged at Jared, his mouth open, his three rows of teeth all bared menacingly. His tail flipped around violently, and the fin on his back flared. Jared jumped back in surprise. 

Evan seemed to notice that he had scared Jared, because he slowly drew back, a look crossing his face that seemed to say “I win, asshole.” Jared scowled and covered the tank back up. He got back into the caravan and snapped at the driver to drive, then pulled out his book and made a note. 

  * Slow blinks = do not fuck with me



\---

Connor did not come out of his room for breakfast. He did not come out of his room for lunch. He would not come out of his room to meet whoever the fuck Larry was currently hosting, because fuck Larry, fuck Larry’s collection, fuck Larry’s assumption that Connor would just lie down and do whatever he wanted - namely, marry Alana Beck. Connor had no interest in Alana, Connor had no interest in women, and Connor had no interest in whatever society or his parents told him he was supposed to have interest in, and Connor especially had no interest in Larry’s lifelong vanity project. 

There was a clamouring downstairs, a gasp from his mother, and an unfamiliar voice. He heard Zoe chattering excitedly and grimaced. There was a time when she didn’t buy into their father’s frivolousness. Connor sighed. He needed to get high. 

He rolled himself a joint, lighting it with the wick of a candle, and sat on his windowsill, watching the smoke float in to the clouds. He stared out at the crashing waves of the sea, and wished to be anywhere but there. He was not the only one. 

\---

It was loud. So loud. Too loud too loud too loud. He could smell the sea. He could feel it in his bones on his fins on the tips of his fingers. He was so close so close so close. It was painful. It hurt more to be so close with no way to get to it than to have no idea where it was. 

Man’s shoal was overwhelming. His water was still too warm. He worried he would die. He would die without his heart and his soul would be lost forever. 

He ached. 

He did not want to be here. 

He missed the quiet of the sea, the calming voices of his shoal. Everyone in the Up was so loud and clamoring. He missed the vast expanse and he missed his heart and he missed his mother. 

They would not stop looking at him. Talking at him. Tapping at the walls of the small sea he was confined in. They would not leave him alone. 

There was Man who he hated. There was Large Man, who he thought was dangerous. The was Soft Man, who reminded him of his mother. There was Pretty Man, who seemed the safest. He still did not like her, though. 

Eventually, he fell asleep. It was too bright, too loud. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

When he woke, it was dark. There was a fish swimming around in his small sea. He darted up, grabbing it in his mouth and chewing it messily. He was glad that he was getting fish. At first Man tried to give him plants. Then Man tried to give him fish that was already dead. Man was stupid. 

He sensed a shift in the floor. Someone was here. 

He turned swiftly, training his towards the source of the change. At first he thought it was Pretty Man, but no. This one was taller. Sharper. 

“Holy. Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like comment share and subscrumble
> 
> follow me on tumblr @aliensinflowercrowns for my main and @ask-godly-deh for my dear evan hansen greek myth au askblog


	2. chapter the second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor shook his head. This was too weird. This was too much. This was not happening. There was no fucking way that this was happening. This was insane and impossible. Connor had never had hallucinations from being high before, but maybe someone had just sold him some bad weed.   
> He was just going to leave. And go to bed. And wake up in the morning to find out his dad had gotten some mermaid statue and he’d just had a marijuana-induced bonding moment with it.   
> He turned away from the tank and back towards the stairs, ignoring the feeling of two unblinking, glowing eyes boring into the back of his head. 
> 
> \---
> 
> the boys meet and also alana shows up yay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i changed the rating to mature because there are some vague sexy times between the gorls (nothing explicit) and also like a bit of a rape/sexual assault allegory towards the end?????? the last little section could possibly be triggering.

Connor blinked. Then blinked again. Then blinked rapidly about a hundred more times, still not believing what was in front of him was real. 

There was a mermaid in his father’s collection room. 

He was unlike anything Connor had ever seen before. He didn’t look like the mermaids in the paintings that Connor had seen - half fish half maiden - he looked otherworldly. His skin was sort of translucent. His hair was wild and curly. He eyes were huge and blue, and they seemed to be glowing. He had small fins around his body other than his tail fins. His ears looked liked fins. His teeth were sharp. His hands were webbed. The gils on his neck flushed water in and out softly. Connor wondered what that must feel like, to constantly have water flowing through your neck. 

But despite all of his oddities, he was beautiful. Sort of… alluring. Like the myth of the greek siren. Although, Connor supposed, that wasn’t much of a myth anymore. 

He stared at Connor, his eyes large and unblinking. Connor couldn’t read them. He couldn’t tell if the mermaid was scared or angry or hungry or happy or what have you. He was simply there. If not for the soft flushing of his gils, Connor would be inclined to think he was a statue. 

He took a small step towards the tank. 

The mermaid did not move. 

He took another step. 

Still, nothing. 

Two more rapid steps and Connor was nose to nose with the tank. He saw something twitch in the mermaids face. 

“Um… hi?”

Fast as a bolt of lightning the mermaid turned and sped to the furthest corner of the tank, his webbed hands spreading across the glass as if he was trying to grip it for support. Connor startled at the sudden movement. 

“Holy shit,” He breathed. He slowly turned, circling the tank. The mermaid copied his movements in the opposite direction, trying to stay as far away from Connor as possible. 

Connor placed on hand on the glass, spreading his fingers, trying as hard as possible not to make any noise. He breathed slowly, his breath fogging up the glass. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Connor said, his voice quiet. The mermaid was staring again. Connor met his eyes, maintaining hard eye contact, trying not to blink. “I’m trapped here, too.”

The mermaid bolted towards him. Connor’s heart leapt, but he tried not to show it. He stared at Connor, meeting his eyes, and slowly, ever so slowly, matched his webbed hand to Connor’s on the other side of the glass. Connor felt a jolt of warmth, as if the glass wasn’t there, and they were actually touching hands.

And then, it happened.

Connor was sweating. Connor could breathe. Connor was hot, hot, hot, hot. It was like when he was a child and contracted measles. He felt as though he was on fire. He was slowly being suffocated. Too hot, too hot, too hot. He was going to die if it was like this any longer. Connor was going to die, Connor was going to die, Connor was going to die. 

Just as fast as it had started, it was over. Connor was breathing heavy, both hands on the glass. He felt beads of sweat drip down his neck, his back, his forehead. 

He looked back up at the tank. The mermaid was staring at him, his hands no longer on the glass. He bobbed a little, as if he was more relaxed now. 

“Okay…” Connor sputtered. “Oh… Okay. I’ll tell them. I’ll tell them to make it colder.”

The mermaid stared at Connor. His tail flicked. 

“Uh… you’re welcome?” 

He flicked his tail again. 

Connor shook his head. This was too weird. This was too much. This was not happening. There was no fucking way that this was happening. This was insane and impossible. Connor had never had hallucinations from being high before, but maybe someone had just sold him some bad weed. 

He was just going to leave. And go to bed. And wake up in the morning to find out his dad had gotten some mermaid statue and he’d just had a marijuana-induced bonding moment with it. 

He turned away from the tank and back towards the stairs, ignoring the feeling of two unblinking, glowing eyes boring into the back of his head. 

\---

He didn’t know if trusting this one was a good idea. He didn’t think trusting any of them was a good idea. He rationalized that it could not get worse. 

He didn’t know why he chose The Sharp One. Maybe because he came alone. Maybe because he was quiet. Maybe because he was the first to establish communication. 

Or maybe because he got the feeling that The Sharp One and Man would not get along, and out of all of the things he hated about the Up, he hated Man the most. 

Somewhere, far away, he felt the sea calling to him. 

He held back a sob.

\---

Everyone in the house was surprised the next morning when Connor came down to breakfast. 

Zoe was unpleasantly surprised.

Cynthia was pleasantly surprised.

Larry was suspiciously surprised.

And Jared was just surprised, as he’d not been made aware that there was another Murphy child. 

The first thing Connor had done when he’d awoken uncharacteristically early in the morning was sneak down to the collection room and check to see if he had truly imagined the mermaid. 

He had not. 

He then had a minor mental schism relating to the confirmed existence of telepathic sea people. 

Then the mermaids flicked his tail at Connor a few times, as if to say “Remember our deal!” 

Connor, in fact, did remember the deal, so, much to his own chagrin, he went in to the family dining room for breakfast. 

“Which one of you is responsible for the fucking mermaid in the collection room?”

“Language,” Larry grunted, then returned to the letter he was reading. 

“Good morning, Connor!” Cynthia said, ignoring his question and shoving a plate of food in his hands. “Alana is coming over later today.” 

Connor bit his tongue. 

“I repeat, which one of you is fucking responsible for the fucking mermaid in the fucking collection room?!” 

Cynthia blinked, her smile faltering. “I see you met Evan,” She said. “Isn’t he fascinating?” 

“Evan?” Connor asked. “Who names a fucking mermaid Evan?”

Zoe shrugged. “I think it’s kind of cute.”

“No one fucking asked you, Zoe.”

“You actually sort of did.”

“Bitch.”

“Wow. How witty, Connor.”

“You know what, Zoe -”

“I! Am responsible. For Evan,” Jared said. Connor turned and looked at him as if he’d just noticed he was in the room. “I’m the one who discovered him.”

“You mean captured him?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Same difference. Jared Kleinman, soon to be world renowned biologist.” He stuck out his hand for Connor to shake. Connor did not. 

“You need to make the water colder,” Connor stated. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“The water,” Connor said. “In the tank. It needs to be colder. It’s way too warm. It’s going to kill him.”

Jared frowned. “And… how do you know this?” 

“He told me.” 

Jared’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked. “He told you? He  _ spoke _ to you? How? What happened? How did you get him to talk? What exactly did he say? Does he speak English? When did -”

“The water,” Connor said, turning around. “Make it. Colder.” He started to walk away. Jared followed him, frantically yelling out questions, but Connor paid him no mind. 

“Zoe,” Cynthia asked. “I have a brunch with some ladies downtown later. Do you think you could chaperone Connor and Alana’s date?”

Zoe grimaced as though she’d swallowed a rotten lemon. “I guess,” She mumbled, then cast her eyes down and picked at her food before leaving. 

\---

“I told him,” Connor said, after walking in to the collection room and locking the door. “Jared. He seems like an ass, by the way.” 

Evan did not respond. 

“So your name is Evan? Or… I guess… that’s probably not your real name. Um.” 

Nothing.

“My name is Connor.”

Evan, shockingly, did not respond.

\---

Connor. He was called Connor.

\---

The door clicked unlocked from behind Connor. Evan blinked rapidly at him before turning and hiding back in the corner of his tank.

“There’s no fucking way that he actually talked to you,” Jared said, voice laiden with jealousy and frustration. 

“He didn’t… talk,” Connor said. “He more like -” He caught himself, and turned to look at Jared. “Actually. Fuck you. I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Look, kid. Why don’t you focus on your little girlfriend’s visit and I’ll handle the scientific discoveries.”

Connor scoffed. “You are a serious asshole, you know that? Why do you get off on the suffering of other creatures?” 

“I don’t  _ get off _ on suffering! Fucking look at him. He’s not hurt or mounted on a wall or being dissected in a lab. I’m trying to further scientific research! It’s not my fault he won’t behave.” 

“I bet if you could distance yourself a little bit from your ego you’d be able to actually hear what you’re saying.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Connor glared. “You’re a smart man. Figure it out.” 

He stalked out of the room, his heavy boots shaking the floors. Jared grimaced and approached the tank. 

“I’m not trying to be an asshole,” He said, somewhat accusatory. “You don’t understand. How big this could be for me.” 

Evan just stared at him, completely still. His big, blank eyes boring into Jared’s soul. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Jared said, turning away from the tank. “I’ll…” He stared at the floor, fidgeting with his hands. “I’ll make it colder.” 

\---

The night before Jared had arrived with Evan, the night that Connor had stormed out of dinner, the night that Zoe found out her best friend was going to marry her brother, Alana Beck snuck into the Murphy House. 

Zoe’s white satin curtains waved listlessly in the wind. She’s left her window open. She stared at the one lit candle on her nightstand, holding her breath and hoping no one noticed anything. 

Suddenly, a pebble flew through her window and landed on her floor with a small clatter. A smile broke out on her face. 

She stepped out of bed and opened her closet, searching through dirty lines and abandoned dresses until she found the small rope ladder she’d painstakingly crafted last year. She crossed to the windowsill and unfurled it, holding on tight as she felt the weight of a body on the other end. 

Alana pulled herself up on the windowsill, and was immediately pulled into a deep kiss by her lover. Zoe moved down from her mouth to her neck and her collar bones, holding tightly onto the other girl and guiding her to the bed. Zoe pushed her down, pulling at her dress and kissing her chest and bare stomach. 

A little time later, Zoe laid in her bed, both her and Alana’s clothing discarded on her floor. Their legs were intertwined, with Zoe’s hand resting on Alana’s stomach and her head in the crook of Alana’s shoulder. She watched her bare chest rise and fall as her breathing slowly steadied out. 

“My mother told me that I’m to marry your brother,” Alana said, in a whisper so soft it could be mistaken for the crash of the distant waves. 

“I know,” Zoe responded. 

“We’re going to be sisters,” Alana said.

“That thought… is highly unpleasant.” 

Alana smiled and cupped Zoe’s face, pulling her in for a soft, slow kiss. She tasted salt, as hot tears trailed down Zoe’s face. 

Zoe sat up. 

“It’s so stupid!” She said, her voice quiet but harsh. She angrily rubbed the tears. “I know… I know it’s not his fault but… he takes everything! It’s always about him! And it’s not…” Another tear leaked out. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!” 

“I know,” Alana said, pulling Zoe in for a hug, her voice tinged with bitterness. “It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that I don’t get to go to university. It isn’t fair that we can’t be together. It isn’t fair that Connor will have a bride who can never love him. But…” She sighed. “C’est la vie.” 

Zoe laughed, hiccuping a bit. She turned to Alana abruptly. 

“Let’s run away together.” 

Alana let out a shocked laugh. “What?”

Zoe grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m serious! Let’s leave. Tonight. Right now! We’ll go somewhere far away and get a little house and… and make love on the beach every night and no one will be able to stop us!” 

Alana shook her head. “Zoe… we can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Our parents… we’d… we have no way to get anywhere. We have nowhere to go! We’d have no money and no way to get money.”

“We could get jobs!”

“As whores? Because no one is going to hire me to do much else.” 

Zoe sighed and tugged at her hair. “I fucking hate this.” Her voice was like venom. 

“Let’s not think about it right now. Right now it’s just us. Our own little world. Let’s just… let’s let it just be us.” 

Zoe nodded, and felt herself pulled back into both the warmth of the bed and the warmth of Alana’s arms. 

\---

As Alana snuck out of the Murphy household only to return a few hours later, she contemplated the utter nonsense that was her current situation. 

She’d been having clandestine sex with Zoe Murphy since they were both fifteen. They’d been at one of Cynthia’s soiree’s and had both gotten a little tipsy on champagne and whiskey. Zoe was wearing a lovely red lace dress that hugged her body in all the right ways, with a tight waist and strapless top and a skirt that spilled out onto the floor, and after Alana had ogled at it for more time than was appropriate, she came to the sudden realization that as much as she loved Zoe’s dress  _ on _ her body, she’d love it even more if it was  _ off _ . 

And now Alana was to marry Zoe’s brother. 

Alana’s didn’t dislike Connor Murphy, but she didn’t like him either. Connor was brooding, impulsive, and closed off. He was not one to get close to people easily, which, as his prospective wife, was not encouraging to Alana. Although she couldn’t claim to know him on any sort of deep level, he seemed to be the exact opposite of Zoe. 

Alana snuck back in to her own room just in time to dust the sand off of her feet and jump into bed before being woken up by the head housekeeper. 

“Good morning, Ms. Beck,” She said lightly, pulling back Alana’s curtains. 

Alana yawned and sat up, not having to fake her grogginess. 

“Good morning, Sabrina. You know, you really don’t have to wake me up.”

Sabrina tittered. “How else and I going to spend my time?”

“I dunno,” Alana said. “Maybe at university. I’m sure  your mother wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

Sabrina’s mother was the head cook of the house. She snuck Alana pastries and secretly taught her latin. 

Sabrina shook her head. “I couldn’t afford university, Ms. Beck.”

Alana threw off her covers and sprang from her bed. “Then let’s get married and use my fortune to fund your education!” She wrapped Sabrina in a hug from behind. “We’ll travel the world, I’ll cut my hair and pretend to be a man and you can spend your days arguing with insolent sixteen year olds who think they’re the next Aristotle. It’ll be marvelous!”

A sly smile crept onto Sabrina’s face. “Will Ms. Murphy be accompanying us?” 

Alana made a sound that was similar to a startled cow. 

Sabrina faced her. “You smell far too much of the sea.” She patted her on the cheek. “I’ll draw a bath.” 

“You do realize it’s the other Murphy you’re marrying?” Sabrina asked later, after Alana had taken her bath. Sabrina was currently cinching her corset up so tightly that Alana worried her lungs out pop like overfilled balloons. 

“I do believe I’ve heard something like that, yes,” Alana wheezed. She gripped her bedpost with iron knuckles. 

“And how do you feel about that?” 

“My feelings are fairly irrelevant. They aren’t going to change anything.”

“I’m sorry, Alana,” Sabrina said, releasing her. 

Alana smiled softly, slipping on her shoes and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” 

\---

Angry. The Sharp One - no. The Connor - no.  _ Connor  _ is angry. Not as angry as he is, but angry. He can feel it as he watches him move through the room. These creatures are stranger. The People of The Up. They are always moving. Especially Connor. He is fascinating. His legs make up so much of him. If he were one of them, he would be prized for his beauty and long tail. 

He does not talk as much. That is nice. Man talks too much. Always loud always chattering always prickly. If he were of the sea he would be an urchin. 

He does not like thinking about Man. Man is a thief. If Man were of the sea he would’ve been abandoned by the shoal for his crimes, left to starve and die lost and alone. There are no shoals in the Up. Everyone is alone. Connor seems most alone. 

Evan. That is what Connor called him. That is not his name. He does not know how to tell Connor his name. His name is not a word, it is a feeling. It is his mother, calling out to him. It is the water cold water rushing through his gils. It is the feeling of being taken by the current and riding without any place to be. It is home and safety and the sea. But here that is not his name. Here his name is a meaningless and empty sound. Although, when Connor says it, it feels as if it could be more. 

He - Evan? - thinks again about if Connor were of the sea. He thinks Connor would like the sea. Connor would like his mother, would like having a shoal, would like freedom and the vastness. He thinks as much as Connor would to live in the sea, he would like Connor to live in the sea with him. 

Connor is called away. Connor is angry. Always alone and always angry. 

Evan begins to believe that Connor understands.

\---

“Connor!” Dana called. “Zoe! Ms. Beck is here!” 

Connor felt his soul depart his body. He fixed his face with a scowl and left the collection room. Lately he’d been spending a lot more time in the collection room. A lot more time with Evan. He felt as though Evan understood him - and vice versa. They hadn’t done that  _ thing _ again, but Connor felt as though they still had some unspoken communication. Usually he would sit with Evan during the night, or when Jared wasn’t home. Jared didn’t seem to want Connor to spend time with Evan. Connor could understand why. Jared was jealous. Jealous that Evan liked Connor and not him. Or maybe not jealous. Maybe Jared was just mad that Evan refused to give him anything that would “further his scientific experiments” and wanted to keep Evan miserable and alone out of spite. 

Connor trudged to the front room. He was not in high spirits. Zoe and Alana felt the same way. 

The three of them say in the parlor. Dana brought them small sandwiches. Connor glared at the sandwiches. Alana fiddled with her gloved hands. Zoe sat unnervingly still. 

Someone coughed. 

Zoe bit her lip. “So…” She said, breaking the silence. “Do you want to see our mermaid?”

Alana’s eyebrows shot up. “Mermaid?” She asked.

At the same time, Connor snapped. “Shut the fuck up Zoe!”

“You have a mermaid?”

“No we don’t.”

“Yes, we do.” 

Alana crossed her arms. “I’m confused. Is there a mythical fish person in this house or not?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Zoe hissed. “His name is Evan, he’s a part of dad’s collection.” 

“You can’t meet him,” Connor said. 

“Why not?” Alana asked. “I’m actually very passionate about sciences -”

“I don’t care. You can’t meet him.” 

“Connor, you can’t treat her like that!” 

“It’s none of your business how I treat her,  _ Zoe _ ! You're not the one being forced to marry her!” 

Zoe stood up. “I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Alana. I just…” Her voice sounded watery. She was on the verge of tears, though Connor didn’t notice. He rarely noticed things about Zoe nowadays. 

She stormed up the stairs, barely shutting her door before bursting into heartbroken tears, because no, she was not the one was being “forced” to marry Alana. 

Alana stared at Connor, her future seemingly bleaker and bleaker by the minute. He sighed loudly and slouched into the couch. Alana reached for a sandwich. They did not speak. 

\---

“I can’t marry her,” Connor said, later that night. “We talked and… we have nothing in common. We’ll both be miserable. I can’t.” 

“Connor,” Cynthia said, trying to be soothing. “You’re being too negative. Alana is a lovely girl -”

“Who I’m not going marry.”

“Connor, please,” Larry said. “Not in front of the guest.” He gestured at Jared.

“I don’t give a seven pound shit about the guest!” Connor also gestured at Jared, but it conveyed a different meaning. “I’m not marrying her. I won’t do it. You can’t make me.”

“Connor,” Larry said sharply. “You’re being a child.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t act like a child if you didn’t treat me like one!” Connor stood up.

“All noble parents arrange their children’s marriages, that’s just how it is, Connor,” Cynthia said, tugging on Connor’s sleeve, trying to get him to sit down. 

“I won’t go through with this.” Connor did not sit down. 

Larry stood up as well. “You will.”

“No!” Connor yelled. 

Larry’s voice was deadly and quiet. Not to be contradicted. Not to be fucked with. “I will not let you ruin everything I have built because you feel like being an ungrateful, impotent brat. You will go through with this. You will court Alana Beck. You will marry her. You will have children with her and you will appreciate everything I have given you to make your life as easy as that god damn it!” 

“Fuck you!” 

Connor stormed out of the dining room. He ran into the collection room and started pushing at Evan’s tank. 

“I’m going to get you out of here,” He said. “I might be trapped forever but you don’t have to be. I can help you. I can save you.” He looked at Evan. Evan flicked his tail. 

_ No _ . 

“What? What do you mean no?! Don’t you want to leave?”

He flicked his tail again, differently this time. Connor looked into his eyes. 

_ Yes. Yes I want to leave, more than anything _ . 

“Then let me help you!”

Another tail flick. Sadder. 

_ No _ . 

“Why not?! Show me,” Connor said, pressing his hand to the glass, spreading his fingers out. “Show me why not.” 

Evan moved towards him, his hand aligning with Connors. And then it happened. 

\---

Connor is with his mother. Connor is in the sea. Connor is happy. 

Connor is picked on by the others. He is smaller. Weaker. Connor clings to his mother. She is his safety. Connor does not have a father. His father is gone gone gone leaving his mother broken. His mother insists she is not broken, no matter what the others say. But her heart is gone. Gone gone gone. 

Connor’s heart rest on her neck. It is unlike anything he has ever seen before. Not a rock not a jewel not seashell. It is glowing. It is warm. 

Connor’s mother has watched his heart since he was born. When he comes of age she will give it to him. Then, when he finds a Mate, the person he will spend his life with, he will give it to them. And they in turn will give him theirs. And they will be bound forever and Connor will be loved. Loved loved loved. 

But there is danger. Connor is bound to his heart. He cannot break away from it, or it will be lost forever. He will be alone. Alone and broken. His heart hold his soul. When he dies he will rest with his mate. With whoever has his heart. His mother’s mate took her heart and left it somewhere. She can not find it. She does not think what will happen to her when she dies. 

Connor does not want that to happen to him.

Connor does not want to be broken.

Connor is coming of age. Connor is happy. Connor is the last to come of age. His heart hangs around his neck. It is heavy, but it is not a burden. Connor is proud of himself. 

Then it is storming. Connor is lost. He cannot find his mother. He moans and wails and calls for her but she does not come. 

Lost lost lost lost lost. 

Connor is thrown about. The sea is raging. Connor feels small and useless. He does not understand how this happens. Then he is sleeping. Then his being picked up. Then he sees Jared. 

Connor is scared. Connor is so scared he worries he may die. He is in the Up. He has been warned of this place. No one returns from this place. Connor has broken the rule drilled into his head since he was born. 

Jared pokes at him. Touches his scales. Takes “samples.” And then, Jared sees his heart, hanging around his neck, glowing and pulsing and radiant. He moves in. Connor’s entire body screams. No no no no no no no. 

And then Jared takes his heart. It sits in his hand. He feels as though his body is on fire. 

Jared leaves. He has stolen Connor’s heart. Connor’s life. Connor does not know where it is. Only that Jared has it. 

Find it find it find it find it find it. 

Please. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo this took forever and i'm sorry. 
> 
> like comment share and supersize
> 
> also follow me on tumblr @aliensinflowercrowns for my main and @ask-godly-deh for my dear evan hansen askblog


	3. chapter the third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Zoe had an unspoken, yet understood, dynamic. They didn’t speak to each other, didn’t spend time with each other, didn’t seek each other out, didn’t interact with each other in the slightest. And when they were made to interact, they were as hostile towards each other as possible. This agreement had been uncontested since Connor was twelve and Zoe was eleven. It had been initially started by Connor, which made it even more confusing when he barged into Zoe’s room for the first time in five years and asked for her help. 
> 
> in which the shenans start to again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert long apology for unexpected hiatus here*

Connor stormed into Jared’s study, slamming his hands down on his desk. 

“Where is it?” He demanded. 

“Where is what?” Jared asked, trying not to look as started as he so obviously was. 

“Evan’s heart.”

“His heart? Um… in his chest?” Jared leaned in and pushed up his glasses. “I think at least. I was able to do a preliminary medical exam and believe I detected some beating from his chest area. It’s strange because of the differences between human and fish anatomy. Like, Evan’s heart beats so quickly that if he were a normal human he’d be dead, but that’s probably because he lives in such cold water that he needs to circulate blood flow… anyway. Back to your question. I think that his heart is in his chest rather than behind his gills because he seems to have a throat very similar to that of a normal human… so there’d be no way for it to fit. I am curious to see how many chambers his heart has - if it’s a simple fish heart or more complex like a human heart. I’m leaning more towards the human heart because his body is so complex… maybe he has two hearts! One behind his gills and one in his chest. But… no… or… actually… you know what. I’m rambling. Why do you ask?” 

Connor blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what the hell Jared just said. “No! Not his… blood pumpy… heart… his fucking… heart!” Connor made a gesture as if he was grabbing at something on his chest. “It’s like a… a pulsing rock? Or a jewel… sort of crystally… beautiful…” It really was. Evan’s heart was red, it’s pulse soft and steady. It seemed welcoming and warm. Connor just wanted to hold it close to him. 

Connor pulled himself out of his daydream. He needed to focus on the task ahead. 

“It’s a necklace. He was wearing a necklace when you pulled him onto your ship and he needs it back. It’s really important.”

Jared narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“It just is.”

“What’s it for?”

“It doesn’t matter! It’s his property!” 

Jared crossed his arms. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Connor,” He lied, not convincing anyone. “And even if I did know what you were talking about, as a reputable scientist I would want to study this necklace to the fullest extent before I ever got rid of it. Especially now that I know, or if I hypothetically knew, that it was important.”

“Cut the shit, Kleinman,” Connor said. He tried to make his voice dark and threatening. “Give me the fucking necklace.” 

Jared smirked. “Or what? You’ll hit me? You’ll just get in even more trouble with your parents. You know… I worry about how much time you spend around Evan. I think I might need to alert your parents that you’re indulging in… unholy temptations.” 

In the time it takes a falling match to start a fire, Connor had jumped over the desk and punched Jared in the face, leaving a cut on his eye that would develop into a sizable bruise. Jared’s eyes stung. He wanted to slide onto the floor and cry in agony, but Connor held him up by the collar of his shirt. 

“You keep your mouth fucking shut about things you don’t understand, you hear me Kleinman?”

Jared stared at him with wide eyes. His pupils were dilated. Connor breathed heavily. His body reverberated with rage, like an empty concert hall after the banging of a gong. He let go of Jared abruptly, causing him to fall to the floor, and then left. 

\---

Adam Sweeney lived in a small two roomed house on the wharf. The only thing brighter than his green eyes was his red hair. He had a gap between his front teeth and was covered in freckles. His mother, Angelica Sweeney, was a maid for the Murphy household. When Adam turned fifteen, he started helping Mr. Murphy out with the occasional bit of yard work and hard labor.

Adam got along with Mr. Murphy. Something about his dedication and manliness. Some days Mr. Murphy would invite him inside. He would feed him sandwiches that his wife made and tell him stories about his life that his children were never interested in hearing. It was one of those days when Adam saw Connor Murphy for the first time. Connor Murphy was beautiful. His hair was dark brown, slightly curled and always clean. His hands were delicate, his fingers long. He was soft and thin from never having to do any hard work. His eyes were bright and his face was angular and angelic. 

The two locked eyes, and both boys felt as though every inch of their skin was on fire. 

Later that night, Adam wandered up to Connor’s room. He knocked softly on the door. 

“Mr. Murphy?” 

“What?” Connor yelled out, not wanting to pause reading his book long enough to open the door. 

“I… um… I have your dinner?” Adam lied. 

“Come in,” Connor said. Adam opened the door. “That’s weird. Usually my mom makes us all eat together ‘as a family.’” He turned towards the other boy, and something flashed in his eyes. “Oh. It’s… you.”

“Hi,” Adam said, sticking close to the wall in case Connor started screaming at him. His temper - though not as bad as it would be in his later years - was notorious. 

“Hello,” Connor breathed, staring at the heavenly looking boy who’d just walked into his room. 

“I don’t… I lied about having your dinner. I just wanted to see you.” 

“That’s fine.” Connor smiled. His smile was small and understated, but always genuine. “I’m Connor.”

“I know. My mom works for your parents.” Adam took a step forward. “Adam Sweeney.”

Connor reciprocated the step. “Nice to meet you, Adam Sweeney.” Connor stuck out his hand. Adam shook it. 

There is a moment of sheer terror right before you are about to do something that could be either brilliant of terrible. When one comes up to a crossroads in life and realizes that they can either continue the path they are on, or veer off to another course, with no way of knowing what lies ahead. Any smart man would tell you to stay on the safe course. The risk is too high. But when Adam and Connor touched hands, any idea of safety that either boy had in their heads was gone. All that was left was intense wanting, and suddenly the potential consequences were a better fate to face than one of constantly wondering what if. 

Neither was sure who pulled who towards who, all they knew was that suddenly they were kissing. Passionate, intense, electrifying. Neither had ever kissed anyone before, and the inexperience combined with adrenaline and the knowledge that if caught they could very well be exiled or sentenced to death lead to a technically horrible kiss, but they were both so distracted by the wave of hormones that comes with kissing someone that they didn’t notice. 

The kiss broke. Connor and Adam stared at each other, panting heavily, with red faces and kiss swollen lips, before simultaneously falling upon each other once again. 

The affair lasted four blissful months of stolen glances, whispered promises, and hidden kisses. It was quite possibly the happiest Connor had ever been. His parents were glad he’d finally made a good friend - even if it was just the son of a servant, and any mistreatment from his parents, fights with his sister, or poorly concealed glances in town square seemed to roll of his back when he thought of how he had Adam to come back to. 

Sweet Adam with his sun-kissed smile and wry sense of humor. His calloused hands and broken in clothes that always smelled of sea foam. Connor was almost certain that Adam was his soulmate. 

It was Connor’s birthday when everything came tumbling down. Adam had been invited not as a servant but as a guest. He was in his best clothing and his mother had sprung for some scented soap at the market. Connor was in a sour mood since his mother had seemingly invited the entire kingdom, even though Connor had begged her to keep the party small. He’d retreated into his room. 

Adam knocked quietly. He had a very specific way of knocking on doors. Three soft wraps of the knuckle. Connor could always tell when it was him. He opened the door with a soft smile. 

“Hi.”

Adam slipped in and made sure the door was closed, then pulled Connor down for a soft kiss. “Happy sixteenth birthday, Connor.” 

Connor smiled against Adam’s lips. “Thanks. I’m sorry the party is so… awful.”

“Awful? Are you kidding? This is the nicest party I’ve ever been to. Although getting absolutely hammered with the village kids half dressed in the middle of the night isn’t half bad.”

“God. I wish that’s what we were doing for my birthday.” 

Adam smiled. “Yes. I also wish you were half dressed for your birthday.” 

Connor barked out a laugh. 

“I would oblige you, but this shirt is so goddamn complicated that even if I managed to get it off there’s no way I would be able to get it back on.” His sighed. “I feel like a fucking girl.” 

Adam shrugged. “A very handsome girl, if I do say so myself.” He paused. “I have something for you.” 

Connor pursed his lips. “Adam, I told you, you didn’t need to get me anything -”

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t get you a birthday present?” 

Connor sucked in a breath. “Boyfriend?”

Adam blushed. “Well… I mean… if you wanted… I don’t…”

Connor shut him up with a kiss. “Boyfriend. I love it.” 

Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a small statue. “Happy birthday, Connor.” 

Connor gingerly took the statue out of Adam’s hands, examining it. It was a small wooden carving of a mermaid coming out of the sea, surrounded by intricate waves. It was so detailed that Connor could feel the tiny scales against his fingers. 

“Did you make this?” He asked. 

“Yeah. You told me how you and Zoe used to play by the shore and pretend you were mermaids and you looked so happy so I thought…” 

“This must have took you months,” Connor’s voice filled with amazement as he marvelled at the statue. His statue. 

“Well… yeah. I… I wanted it to be special. I love you Connor.” 

Connor set the statue down at his windowsill. “I love it,” He said. He turned to Adam. “I love you. As well. I love you as well.” 

Adam smiled, and Connor pulled him in for a kiss. They gravitated towards the bed. Connor pushed Adam against the wall, tangling his fingers in his hair and kissing him hungrily. They were so enraptured in each other that they didn’t hear the door open. 

“Connor, so help me god if you don’t get back downstairs -” 

At the sound of someone’s voice, the boys sprang apart like they had been burned. 

“Dad -” Connor breathed, shock and terror mixing together. 

“Mr. Murphy, sir, please, I can explain -”

“Get. Out.” 

Adam nodded, looking back at Connor with tears brimming in his eyes as he tore out of the room. Connor couldn’t blame him. He sat paralyzed on the bed staring at his father. His father stared at him as well. 

Forty five seconds passed. 

Without a word, Larry Murphy slammed the door shut. 

Connor stayed in his bed, curled up, crying to himself all night. 

The next morning, Larry walked in the room with Connor’s breakfast. He, surprisingly, didn’t beat the life out of Connor. Nor did he send him to church or to prison or to Australia. He simply handed Connor his plate and said, “If I ever catch you with… like that again, I will throw your ass onto the street and you will never see me, your mother, your sister, or a cent of this family’s wealth. Is that understood.” 

“Yes sir.”

“And not a word of this to anyone else, understand? Especially not your mother or Zoe.”

“Yes sir.” 

Connor Murphy and Adam Sweeney never saw each other again. 

 

\---

 

Connor delicately picked the small statue of the mermaid off his windowsill. His fingers curled around it and he held it up to his chest. He felt tears brimming in his eyes but refused to let them fall. 

He thought about Adam. Connor rarely let his mind wander to Adam. It was too painfully. He allowed himself to think about the magnificent curling in his stomach when he and Adam kissed. The sparks that would electrify his nerves whenever Adam was near. He wondered if he could feel that with Evan. Then he remembered his father. And his sister. And how he was to marry Alana. And anger and hatred twisted up inside him, causing his bruised knuckles to burn. He had to save Evan. He  _ had _ to. 

Connor set the statue down. He wondered where Adam was. If he ever thought of him. He wished he could see him one last time, if only to apologize. He had lost so much because of Connor. He wondered if Adam thought he was worth it. 

“I’m sorry,” Connor said to the statue. “I miss you. I’m sorry.” 

Then he locked up those thoughts and feelings and set his jaw. He had work to do. He left the room to find his sister. 

 

\---

 

Connor and Zoe had an unspoken, yet understood, dynamic. They didn’t speak to each other, didn’t spend time with each other, didn’t seek each other out, didn’t interact with each other in the slightest. And when they were made to interact, they were as hostile towards each other as possible. This agreement had been uncontested since Connor was twelve and Zoe was eleven. It had been initially started by Connor, which made it even more confusing when he barged into Zoe’s room for the first time in five years and asked for her help. 

“I need your help.”

“What the hell, Connor! You can’t just walk in my room without knocking!”

Connor rolled his eyes and stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. There was a harsh rapping, and then the door opened again. 

“I need your help. Also, what is she doing here?” He pointed at Alana, who was - thankfully - fully dressed. 

Zoe narrowed her eyes. “Unlike you, I actually have friends.”

“Oh fuck - no.” Connor took a deep breath. “I need your help with something.” 

“What?”

“I need you to help me steal from Jared Kleinman.”

“The scientist?”

“No. The college student.” 

Zoe shot him a look. “Connor. I’m not going to help you steal from someone!”

“It’s not for me. It’s for Evan.”

“The mermaid?”

“Yes.” 

“The one that technically belongs to Jared?”

“Well… technically he belongs to Dad and Jared is just studying him, and even more technically he doesn’t belong to anyone because he’s an autonomous person.”

“He’s a fish.”

“A fish- _ person _ ! Jesus Christ, Zoe, can’t you just hear me out on this?”

“O...kay. What do you need to steal?”

“Um… a necklace? That’s also a heart. But it isn’t like shaped like a heart it’s just called that. Or it’s not actually a necklace. It’s hard to explain.” 

Zoe crossed her arms. “Right. Okay. Bye, Connor! Maybe we can chat when you aren’t like high off your ass!” 

Connor clenched his hands into fists. He could do this. He needed to do this for Evan. “Just… can you just let Evan explain for himself? Please?”

She huffed. “Fine.” 

 

\---

 

“Oh my God!” Alana said, once they’d arrived in the collection room. “Oh my GOD! You know I honestly didn’t believe you at first but… you have a REAL LIVE MERMAID in your BASEMENT!” 

“Collection room,” Zoe and Connor corrected out of habit. 

“Alana, Evan, Evan, Alana.” Connor gestured between Alana and the tank halfheartedly. Evan stared at them with his huge, slightly glowing, unblinking eyes. “Just…” Connor sighed. “Evan. Just tell him.”

Alana walked up to the tank and waved excitedly. “Hi Evan!” She said loudly but not unkindly. 

“Stop it,” Connor snapped. “He doesn’t like that.” 

“Connor,” Zoe said. “Are you  _ sure _ he’s talking to you? He hasn’t tried to communicate with anyone. He just sort of sits there.” 

Connor glared. “No. Look. Okay. He… he talks to me. Well… doesn’t talk… but… communicates. It’s… look. I’ll show you. Evan.” He turned towards the tank. “Talk to her. Like… do your thing.”

Evan made no movement to show that he understood. 

“No. Okay. Hold on. Look.” Connor grabbed Zoe’s hand and pulled her towards the tank. “Just. Put your hand here. Okay.” He pushed her hand up against the glass. “And then like… spread your fingers out like this… and then. Okay. Now, just. He’ll… he’ll do it.” 

Connor looked at Evan expectantly. 

Evan did not respond. 

“I don’t… I don’t think he can understand you, Connor,” Zoe said, although she didn’t take her hand off of the glass. 

“No. He… he can! Okay! Just fucking… listen! Okay!?” Connor turned to Evan, trying to keep his voice level. “Evan… please… I can’t… just…” 

Evan did not respond. Not a twitch or a blink or a swish of the tail. Nothing. 

“Connor…”

“JUST FUCKING TRUST ME ZOE!” Connor tugged at his hair. He was not going crazy. What the hell was happening? What was Evan doing?! Why couldn’t he just fucking cooperate?! He whirled on Evan. “I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FREAK?!” 

Evan blinked at him, very slowly. He stayed in the back of the tank. 

“Shit,” Connor said. “Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. I’m…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Evan… I…” He stared at the floor. “Fuck…”

“Connor,” Zoe said, turning to him. 

Then, quick as a flash, Evan darted forward. He slammed his hand against the tank wall, connecting it to Zoe’s. 

 

\---

 

He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, trusting this one. Trusting The Zoe. But Connor seemed to trust her. He wanted him to trust her, at least. He didn’t understand why Connor was being so loud and angry. He didn’t like it. It made him feel the same way he felt when he was small and would get picked on by the other younglings in his shoal. They would tease him about his mother, his lack of a father, and how he was small and slow. He doesn’t want to disappoint Connor. And Connor said that The Zoe and The Alana could help him. Before he could think too much about it, he swam forward, and reached out to The Zoe. 

 

\---

 

Zoe gasped. She went rigid, her body seizing up and her eyes glazing over. Alana lunged forward to grab her, but Connor held her back. He closed his eyes. He’d never seen Evan talking to someone from this perspective before, and it was highly disturbing. She seemed like she was in a phase between dead and alive, taken out of time and turned less than human. Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped. Evan jerked back, and life returned to Zoe’s eyes. She was panting heavily as she slowly detached her hand from the glass. 

“Jesus Christ,” She breathed. “Does that get easier?” 

“I don’t… not really,” Connor said. “We don’t um… do that… a lot. Only when it’s something that can’t be conveyed with nonverbal communication? I dunno. It’s weird.” Connor suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable talking about his bond with Evan - almost as if it was too intimate to be shared with someone else. Which was ridiculous. They just… talked. Sort of. Communicated? Whatever. 

“But do you understand now?”

“Um… yeah… I… I guess.”

“I don’t!” Alana piped up. “Can someone please tell me what’s going on? Someone who can actually speak, preferably? No offense.” 

Evan didn’t seem to be offended. He didn’t seem to be much of anything. Connor glanced towards him, but Evan didn’t meet his eyes. He just kept staring blankly ahead. 

“Basically, Evan has like… this necklace. And he’s supposed to give it to his soulmate or whatever. But when Jared caught him he took it. And Evan is like… connected to it. He can’t leave without it. Or… he can… but then he’ll never be able to give it to the person he loves and they won’t be able to go to… mermaid heaven together?” She glanced at Connor. “Is that right?” 

“Well. Yeah. Sort of. The necklace is basically the soul, right. So it has to stay somewhere safe so that when they die they won’t just be lost in the abyss. It’s also a really meaningful symbolic gesture. When you don’t have it and you don’t know where it is you feel… empty. Lost. Like a huge part of you has been carved out with a jagged piece of glass.” 

“So,” Zoe said. “We need to steal the heart from Jared so that…”

“So that we can set Evan free.” 

“Right.”

“Wait. But. Why are we setting him free?” Alana asked. 

“Because -” Zoe started. 

“Because he’s a person!” Connor cut in. “And he doesn’t deserve to have all of his fucking choices made for him! Because he has a mom and a family and he just wants to be free and loved and not fucking confined to four walls for the rest of his life never being able to think for himself or be who he truly is!” 

Alana stared at Connor. “Yeah.” She said. “Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. What’s the plan?” 

Connor was surprised how at how easily Alana agreed to helping them. He hadn’t planned for her to be a part of this at all. He was perfectly happy keeping his future wife - ugh - as far away from Evan and his sister as possible. But seeing how that clearly wasn’t going to happen, he didn’t mind the help. 

“So here’s what I’m thinking. Since Jared hates me -”

Zoe cut in. “How do you know Jared hates you?”. 

“Because I punched him in the face.”

“Connor!”

“Irrelevant!” 

Zoe rolled her eyes.

Connor continued. “Zoe, you go in and seduce Jared. And while you’ve got him all hot and bothered, I’ll -”

“Hold on one fucking minute -” Zoe said, at the same time that Alana said; “Wait, wait, wait.”

“There has got to be a better way to handle this,” Alana said. 

“Yeah. Seducing Jared? That’s ridiculous. I’ve barely talked to the guy, don’t you think it’ll be a little suspicious if I just walk in his room and throw myself at him?”

Connor huffed. “I’m hearing a lot of problems and no solutions.” 

“Okay,” Alana cut in, centering herself and getting ready to think. “Do we know where Evan’s heart even is?” 

“... No.”

“Then we need to find out. So we need someone to get close to Jared. Close enough to either find out on their own or distract him long enough for the others to infiltrate his quarters. Connor, you’re out, and Zoe, you’d be too suspicious because of your connections with Connor. So I’ll do it. I mean, I love science and can hold my own in an education conversation, so it shouldn’t be too hard.” 

“But you’re connected to Connor, too!” Zoe protested. 

Alana scoffed. “Please. Everyone knows Connor and I aren’t exactly close, even if we’re betrothed.” She rolled her eyes on the word betrothed. 

Zoe looked at Alana. Her eyes were soft and full of something Connor couldn’t quite place. “I just don’t want you to get hurt,” She said. 

Alana smiled. “I’m sure I can hold my own against  _ Jared Kleinman _ .” 

“Okay,” Connor said. “This is a good first step. Thanks. For helping me and stuff.”

“Of course,” Zoe said, like it wasn’t a big deal. Like this happened all the time. Like her heart wasn’t in her throat and her toes weren’t treading around eggshells waiting for Connor to leave again. “Operation Heartstopper is a-go.” 

“We are not calling in that,” Connor said, cutting her an amused look. She smiled, and for a second, things were almost normal. No, they were better than normal. Things were almost nice. 

 

\---

 

Connor came back to the collection room last night. The world was dark, save for the soft glow of Evan’s eyes, and the small flicker of Connor’s candle. 

“I’m sorry,” Connor said into the darkness. “I shouldn’t have lost my shit like that. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just…” He laughed, wryly. “I guess you know now. The big secret is out. I’m a fuck up. A deranged, unstable, psychopath. If my father wasn’t who he was I’d be locked up in some goddamn asylum right now.” He was quiet for a minute. “Maybe I should be.” 

Connor set his candle down and sat down on the floor, facing the tank. “I understand if you’re mad at me. Or if you never want to talk to me again. Hell. I don’t want to talk to me. I can only stand myself because I don’t have a choice. Just… just know that even if you don’t talk to me, I’m still going to help you. I’m helping you because it’s the right thing to do, not because of our… friendship. If that’s what we have. If that’s what we are. Friends.” 

His voice was shaky. “It’s been… it’s been a long time since I’ve had a friend. Makes sense that he would be a captive fish person who can’t run away from me. No offense.” 

Connor waited for a response. 

There wasn’t one. 

“Alright. Well. Goodnight, Evan.” 

Connor stood up to leave when he was interrupted by the whooshing of water. Evan was next to the glass. As close as he could possibly get to Connor. He stared at Connor with his unforgiving eyes, and Connor swore he could almost make out a voice in his head. 

_ Friends? _ It asked. 

“Yeah,” Connor said. “Friends.” 

 

\---

 

Somewhere off the coast, just deep enough that she wouldn’t be discovered, a mother laid in wait, her heart twice broken, and cried for her son. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life happens homies i try to get these out as fast as possible. probably doesn't help that i've been sucked into the world of the adventure zone (no spoilers pls!!) and have been just sort of staring at the wall thinking about how much i love taako taaco for hours on end. also connor and zoe totally cosplay as taako and lup don't fight me on this. 
> 
> like comment and scrabble <3
> 
> ((also follow me on tumblr @aliensinflowercrowns for main and @ask-godly-deh for my dear evan hansen askblog))


	4. chapter the fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She could feel Zoe and Connor’s eyes on her from the end of the hall. They were both sequestered in one of the many out of use rooms, peeking through a crack in the door. Alana turned to them and glared sharply, making a shooing motion with her hands.  
> Connor glared right back, but the door shut.  
> Alana steeled herself once more, telling herself to cut the dilly dallying, and knocked on Jared’s study door, three sharp, businesslike wraps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummmmmmmmm. so,,,, it's been.... a bit???? but. here's this.

Alana smoothed down her skirts. She’d convinced Sabrina to dress her more plainly today, much to the dismay of her mother. “How are you supposed to make a good impression if you look like a milkmaid, Alana!” Alana was quite sure that Connor Murphy wouldn’t care if she showed up to his house buck naked and covered in kelp as long as she helped him with his little scheme. She wondered if this was the norm of the Murphy household: clandestine meetings and whispered plans. It was much more exciting than her own home life, where the most dangerous thing she did was read books about things that were unladylike, like math. And, she supposed, sneaking off to have secret sex with the sister of her fiance. 

Maybe Alana’s life was exciting. 

She could feel Zoe and Connor’s eyes on her from the end of the hall. They were both sequestered in one of the many out of use rooms, peeking through a crack in the door. Alana turned to them and glared sharply, making a shooing motion with her hands. 

Connor glared right back, but the door shut. 

Alana steeled herself once more, telling herself to cut the dilly dallying, and knocked on Jared’s study door, three sharp, businesslike wraps. 

There was no response. Alana narrowed her eyebrows and knocked again, more sharp and more businesslike. 

Once again, nothing. She tapped her foot impatiently, wishing she had a shawl or something to flounce indignantly. 

Alana raised her hand one final time and went to knock on the door again, but before she could make contact, the door opened abruptly and she ended up knocking on Jared Kleinman’s forehead. 

“Ow!” He said, flinching. “What is it with you people and hitting me?!” 

Alana cringed. “Sorry!” She squeaked. 

She focused her eyes, barreling through the embarrassment, and there was indeed a massive purple bruise covering Jared’s left eye. 

“It’s fine,” He said, voice impatient. “What do you want?”

Alana took a small breath and plastered on her best “my mother is hosting a party and I have to play nice” smile. 

“Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about your work!” 

Jared raised an eyebrow. “My work?” 

Alana nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! See, I’m really fascinated by science, especially biology, and I know that since I’m a woman I’m not fit to go to university, so having you here is such a rare opportunity to pick the brain of someone who's so intelligent and well versed in such matters.”

She smiled a bit wider, her pearl white teeth flashing. 

_ Laying it on a little thick _ , She chastised herself. 

Jared seemed flustered at the flattery, but was thankfully unsuspicious. “Well,” He said, preening. “I wouldn’t put myself on par with a university professor, but I am pretty intelligent. I mean, one would have to definitively prove the existence of mermaids.” 

Alana widened her eyes. “Mermaids?!” She said, hopefully sounding incredulous. 

Jared grinned. 

_ Got him.  _

“Yeah!” He said. “That’s why I’m here, actually! I’m not surprised the Murphy boy didn’t tell you. But I allowed Mr. Murphy to purchase my discovery on the condition that I get to continue to study it. It’s incredibly fascinating, here,” He opened the door wider. “Let me show you.”

Alana grinned, genuine this time, and walked in. 

 

\---

 

Zoe glared as her brother paced across the room. He reminded her of a petulant ten year old anxious for his father to get home and bring him a new toy. 

“Will you stop that!” She snapped. “You’re freaking me out.” 

Connor glared. “I’m freaking you out?!” He whisper-yelled. “It’s been like… fifteen minutes! What is taking her so long!” 

Zoe crossed her arms. She tried to cross her legs as well, but her foot got caught in a petticoat. She’d never be used to those things. She wished that she could get away with wearing simple slacks and a white shirt that was halfway unbuttoned and completely indecent like Connor did. Everyone had pretty much given up on trying to regulate his dressing. Zoe on the other hand was stuck in an overheated, hoop skirt and underwire hell. 

“Well Connor, unlike you, Alana knows about tact. She’s going to take a little longer because she’s probably actually getting information from him rather than knocking him out and searching his office.” 

Connor scoffed. “Or maybe she’s forgotten all about the mission and they’re both masturbating over mitochondria or something -”

Zoe started to talk over him. “What is your problem?!” She asked, standing up and trying to stare him down, which was ineffective, as even if she was standing she was a good six inches shorter than her brother. 

Connor glared. “What do you mean what’s my  _ problem _ ?”

“Why are you such an ass to Alana? I mean, you’re always an ass, but you seem to be a particularly nauseating variety of ass to her.”

He crossed his arms. “Why do you care?”

“Because! She’s my - friend. And… And she’s stuck with you for the rest of her life, the least you could do is try to make it bearable.” 

“Right, I forgot how awful the idea of being ‘stuck with me’ forever is.” 

“Stop changing the subject, Connor. Why do you hate Alana so much?”

He rolled his eyes and angled his head towards the ceiling, his chin jutting out indignantly. “I don’t… I don’t hate Alana. I don’t know her well enough to hate her. And that’s the thing. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t know! Mother and father shouldn’t get to choose who I spend the rest of my life with, or who spends the rest of their life ‘stuck with me.’ It isn’t fair!”

“That’s the way it is.”

“Not for them. They got married for love. Why can’t we do the same?”

She snorted. “Yeah, and look how it turned out for them. They hate each other.” She tugged at her hair, it was styled in a simple braid rather than something elaborate, thank God. “Alana is nice. I’m sure you two would get along if you just gave her a chance.” 

“You sound like mother.” 

“I don’t -”

“Yeah, you do.” 

She sighed and dropped the argument. “I don’t get why you have to fight everything. It would be so much easier just to deal with what you have to deal with and spend your energy looking for the happiness between the cracks.” 

Connor shook his head. “That would be giving up. If I don’t fight then I’m just… then where does it end? If I just let people smooth away my sharp edges then what’s to stop them from shaving me down until I disappear.” 

It was quiet for a moment. Zoe opened her mouth, and then closed it, and then opened it again. “I’m…” She looked at her shoes. “I’m sorry I said Alana was ‘stuck with you.’ That wasn’t fair.” 

Connor was surprised at this. He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the door to their hideout being thrown open, to reveal Alana, out of breath and grinning. 

“I found the heart.” 

 

\---

 

Jared’s study looked like a hurricane had blown through it. There were papers strewn about every surface, clothing on the floor, an open window that had various fabrics draped over it. There were maps and diagrams on the walls with thread connecting various things. Piles of books and journals were haphazardly stacked on the floor, creating a sort of maze to get to the desk. 

“Sorry about the mess,” Jared said, closing the door. “I don’t let the maids in here. I don’t want them ruining my work.” 

Alana nodded, still processing the state of the room. She had always been a bit of a nuisance about cleanliness, a habit she inherited from her mother. Her journals were neatly kept, with straight lines of writing evenly spaced and impeccably precise. She couldn’t imagine getting actual work done in a place like this. 

Jared ran a hand through his unkempt hair and grabbed a journal off the ground, flipping it open. 

“So, I don’t know if you’ve actually  _ seen _ Evan - that’s um, that’s the mermaid, by the way - but -”

“Did you name him?” Alana asked, glancing around the room again. She hoped that with Jared’s disorganized nature it would be easy to find The Heart. Maybe he would underestimate its importance and leave it hanging around somewhere. Connor described it as almost glowing, like it called out to him. He said it would be hard to miss. 

“Who? Evan?” 

Alana bit back a snarky remark. “Yes,” She said, picking up a pile of papers and glancing under them in a way that she prayed looked casual.  

“Yeah, I named him. After a childhood friend of mine. I doubt his real name is something I could understand, if he’d ever tell it to me.” He said that last part under his breath, in an exasperated grumble. 

Alana raised an eyebrow. “He… He hasn’t talked to you?”

“No. He doesn’t talk. I’m sure he can, the little shit, he just hates me.” 

_ I can’t imagine why,  _ Alana thought. “That’s fascinating,” She said instead. 

“I’ve heard him make noise a few times, though. This… wailing. I can’t figure out exactly what it means… but, that’s not what I wanted to show you.” He gestured to the journal. She leaned down and looked at it. It was a semi-detailed sketch of Evan’s anatomy, filled with question marks and hastily written notes. 

Jared pointed at something. “See, one of the most interesting things I’ve been able to extrapolate about Evan is the marriage of human and fish anatomy present in his body. I mean, I’m also really interested in the social aspects of like… life as a mermaid, but this is the kind of stuff I can learn without having to talk to him. I wasn’t able to do an in depth examination of his body, because that would require cutting him open, but one of the most interesting discoveries I made was the inclusion of lungs! You see, fish don’t have lungs, just gills, but since Evan has lungs this means that he could theoretically breathe on land. But it also raises a lot of questions. How are the gills and the lungs connected? How do they avoid getting water in the lungs? There are of course, some animals in the ocean who have lungs, such as dolphins, but I haven’t found anything that has both lungs and gills. But this also begs the question. Is Evan a mammal? Even though he seems to move similarly to a dolphin, he also shares a lot of similarities to that of a shark. He also has the fluency of a betta fish, and a similar looking tail. So then we would have to wonder, do mermaids give live birth? That isn’t a question we can answer, having only one of specimen, and having that specimen be male, but he does -”

Jared stopped talking, and his face flushed. Alana had to stop her increasingly more furious scrutinization of the room to turn and look at him. 

“Why did you stop?” She asked. 

“Um, well, I, it’s improper to talk about in front of… a lady, so -”

Alana rolled her eyes. “He has a penis?” She said. “Is that what you were going to say.” 

He looked as if he couldn’t tell whether to burst out laughing or to call the authorities at Alana’s blunt and unbothered use of the word penis. He ended up doing this strange, strangled guffaw. 

“Right. Well. Anyway. It… a… functions similarly to that of a dolphin, so, we can, assume that he is a mammal, but mammals don’t tend to live in the deep sea, which seems to be where Evan hails from. He also doesn’t seem to need air, as I’ve never witnessed him come up for it, and from what I understand, he lives far too deep in the ocean to regularly make trips to the surface for air. It’s all very fascinating. But possibly the most fascinating is his heart.” 

Alana stopped dead. She tried very hard to make it look like she was not internally spasming. “His heart?” She asked, turning to Jared. “What’s so interesting about that?”

“Well, you see, mammals, like humans and dolphins -”

“I know what a mammal is, Jared.”

He nodded. “Right, of course. Anyway, mammals have quite complex hearts, with four chambers and ventricles, while animals like fish or sharks have simple hearts, with only two chambers and one ventricle. Mammals also have their hearts located in the same place pretty much across the board, nestled in their lungs. So I listened for his heart in the normal place one would do that, and found a steady - if not incredibly fast - heartbeat. But then Connor burst in here ranting about Evan’s heart -”

“Connor came in here?” Alana asked, in what she hoped was a light, conversational tone. 

Jared made a face. “Yes,” He said. “What, he didn’t tell you about it.”

Alana sighed. “He doesn’t tell me about most things,” She said. 

This had been an integral component in Operation Heartstopper. It was common knowledge around the Murphy household that Connor and his bride to be didn’t get along that well. They were banking on that gossip having reached Jared, who would hopefully not be suspicious of Alana. Why would she spy for Connor? They hated each other, after all. 

Jared hummed in agreement, “Well, he’s a bit of an asshole, no offense.”

Alana shook her head. “None taken.”

“He gave me this black eye, you know.”

She gasped. “No! How could he do such a thing!” 

“I know!” Jared said, throwing his hands up in the air. 

“What was he… asking about?” Alana asked. “If you don’t mind my inquiring.” 

“Well, he wasn’t really asking. More like demanding and sounding like a crazy person.”

Alana nodded. “That sounds like Connor. But what was he demanding?”

“Oh, right. So, he kept talking about Evan’s heart, but apparently he meant this weird necklace that I lifted off of him when we first caught him.” 

“Necklace?” Alana asked, heart hammering in her chest. 

“Yeah. I didn’t think it was anything special. I was curious how a gem got in the bottom of the ocean, but I didn’t really think twice about it until Connor came in here. I’m thinking it might actually be a window into the mermaid culture, which would be really exciting.”

Alana nodded. “Definitely! You… you said it was a gemstone, though?”

“Yeah, some kind of ruby.” 

“Really? I love rubies.” 

Jared smiled. “You wanna check it out?” He asked. “Maybe you can figure out why it’s so fucking special.” 

“I would  _ love _ to see it,” Alana said.

Jared walked over to an armoire that was covered in tacked up papers, and opened the door with a creak. He reached up to the top shelf and pulled out a small wooden box. He opened the box and pulled out a necklace. 

“Here she is,” He said, displaying it to Alana.

It was a simple design, a thumb sized red gem bound with what looked like thin, woven rope. The rope then made a circle, large enough to fit over someone’s head, but small enough that it wouldn’t fly everywhere. It lined up with what Connor described for the most part, but it seemed thoroughly mundane. It wasn’t glowing, it was barely even shiny. It definitely didn’t call out to her, or make her heart swell. Alana thought about what Zoe and Connor had said, how mermaids gave their Hearts to their soulmates. She quietly filed that information away for later. 

“Hmm,” She said, pretending to give it a thorough examination. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem all that special to me.” 

She played up the “silly woman” act, and Jared seemed to buy it, as he put The Heart back in its wooden box and placed it again in the armoire. 

“Anyway…”

Alana couldn’t focus on the rest of his scientific ramblings. She did it. She found Evan’s Heart. This was amazing. Zoe would be so proud of her. 

Eventually, Alana made up some excuse about having to go to lunch with Zoe and Cynthia, and rushed out of the room, practically running to Zoe and Connor’s hideout. 

 

\---

 

He hadn’t seen Connor in a long time. Or, it felt like a long time. Time was different, without the currents. He was guessing, most of the time. 

But he missed Connor. 

Maybe Connor would not come back. He had gotten sharp and large. Angry. Maybe Connor didn’t want to see him anymore.

He understood that, but it still made him sad. 

His mother could always tell when he was sad, because he would become restless. His tail would flourish and swish unnecessarily, and he would dart about the shoal. 

“You cannot swim away from your feelings, my love.” 

He missed her. He missed her like one would miss their tail were it ripped from their body. He missed her with every flush of his gills, every lap of the water, like a physical ache. 

He missed her and he missed Connor and he wondered if he was meant to be alone. Alone with Man, who had recently come to prod at him some more. He wondered if he could just bite man’s neck, and rip out his gills, the way that the elders did when someone tried to attack the shoal. But Man did not have gills, so it might not work. 

Light flooded into the chamber. He braced himself for Man to come again, with his cold, sharp tools, but instead all that came was a soft voice. 

“Evan?” 

He stopped his frantic darting and went still, staring as Connor walked towards him. He put down the light and walked up to his tank, putting his hand on the barrier. 

“Hey,” He said. 

Evan stared at him. 

He had been thinking about something for a while, but he wasn’t sure. He trusted Connor more than anyone else in The Up, but he had made mistakes before. Clearly. 

Connor was excited. Something good had happened. 

“Guess what,” He said, baring his teeth. He had realized that when Connor or Man or The Zoe or The Alana bared their teeth, it meant they were happy. “We found it. Or, Alana found it. Your heart. We’re going to get you out of here, Ev.” 

He twirled, splashing excitedly. He was going to see his mother again. His shoal. He would be free. He looked at Connor and bared his teeth. Connor laughed. He ached, but it was different this time. He realized that he would miss Connor, when he was free. 

 

\---

 

Evan stopped twirling, and his strange attempt at a smile fell, but Connor didn’t get any feelings of sadness or distress. This was something else. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

Evan, characteristically, did not respond, rather, he pointed the top of his tank. 

“Yeah,” Connor said. “We’re going to get you out!” 

Evan flicked his tail, indignant. 

_ That’s not what I mean. _

He pointed again, more forcefully this time. Then he pointed at Connor, and pointed at the top of his tank again. 

“You… what?”

Connor. Top of the tank. 

“You want me to go up there?” 

Tail flick. 

_ Yes. _

Connor studied Evan for a second. “O...kay. But you better not eat me. Cause that would really suck.”

Evan cocked his head. 

“It’s like… there are these like… stories? About sirens who… you know what? Never mind.” 

Connor picked up his lantern and scanned the room, finally finding a chair sitting at some antique desk. He dragged the chair over to the tank and climbed on top of it. When he stood again, his chest was level with the top of the water. 

“Okay,” Connor said. “I’m up here. Now what do you -”

He was cut off by a loud splash. 

Evan had darted up to the top of the tank, breaching the top of the water with a flourish. Connor stared, slack jawed, as Evan crossed his arms over the top of the glass, his head and shoulders fully out of the water, like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“You… wh…  _ what?! _ ” 

Connor leaned back in shock, about to tip the chair, when Evan’s hand shot out and grabbed him, steadying him. His hand was cold, wet, and clammy. It soaked through Connor’s shirt. He noticed that Evan’s nails were very,  _ very _ sharp. 

“Care...ful.”

Connor jumped again. 

“You  _ TALK?! _ ” He whisper-screamed. 

The corner of Evan’s tail quirked, and Connor the sense he was being laughed at. 

“Yes.”

Evan’s voice was rough and scratchy. It was also quiet, and unsure. Connor wouldn’t have been surprised if this was the first time Evan had ever spoken out loud. 

“Since fucking when have you been able to talk?!”

“For always,” Evan said. “I didn’t know… your speak. But I know now. You… study... me. I study you.”

“This is the trippiest shit ever.” 

“T… Trippiest… shit?” 

“It’s, it, it means like… weird? I… nevermind. I can’t believe you can talk!”

The corner of Evan’s mouth quirked upward. 

“You… found… my heart,” He said. 

“Um, yeah. Apparently Jared had just kind of laying around in a cabinet.”

Evan grimaced, then shook his head and turned back to Connor. The whole expression was very human. It was uncanny juxtaposed with Evan’s features. “Thank you,” He said. “Connor.” 

Connor tried to ignore the way his heart skipped when Evan said his name. 

“Um, you’re… you’re welcome, Evan,” Connor said. “Do you mind? If I call you that? Evan?”

Evan thought about this for a second. “It is not my name,” He said. “But… it is your name… that you have for me. So it is okay. Because it is you.” 

“Oh,” Connor said, feeling his face go hot. “Okay. Um. Thanks, I guess.”

“Connor?” Evan said, his voice growing stronger every time he used it. 

“Uh, yeah?” 

Evan stared at Connor, then slowly raised his webbed hands and grabbed Connor’s cheeks. He moved closer to the edge, until his whole body was pressing against the glace. Connor leaned in to where Evan was guiding him, ignoring the warning bells in his head and the hammering in his heart. Evan smelled like the sea. And then, Evan pressed his lips to Connor’s. And his mouth was surprisingly warm. 

 

\---

 

Connor’s skin was dry, and hot, and strange, but good. His mouth was warm, and soft, and very, very good. 

He released Connor’s face, and drifted back away from the tank barrier. Connor didn’t move. His eyes were wide. 

“Good night… Connor,” He said, darting back into the embrace of the water. 

 

\---

 

The opportunity to retrieve Evan’s heart all but fell into Connor’s lap. Ever since the night of The Kiss, he’d been uncharacteristically busy with trivial things his mother and father forced him into. He hadn’t been able to see Evan very often, and they hadn’t talked about what had happened. Connor wasn’t sure the etiquette for talking about things like this with a mermaid. Maybe kissing wasn’t a big deal in Evan’s society. Maybe it was a normal way to express one’s gratitude. 

Connor had been agonizing over it for quite some time when his mother mentioned in passing that Jared would be leaving for a few days next week. 

He had responded with a sullen “Why should I care,” but internally was already making plans. 

The night after Jared had left, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Zoe, Alana, and Connor all stood in front of Jared’s study door. Connor wasn’t sure how Alana had snuck into their house, or why she and Zoe seemed so unruffled by the sneaking in, but he was too excited to think too much about it. Zoe held a ring of keys that she had bribed Dana for, and slid the key to Jared’s study into the lock. 

“Are you sure he didn’t take it with him?” Alana asked again. 

“Positive,” Zoe said. “Dana said that all he took from his study were some journals. No boxes.” 

She turned the lock, and the door opened silently. 

The trio stepped in the room. Alana walked over to the armoire and opened it, reaching up to grab the wooden box off of the top shelf. She smiled and turned back to Connor and Zoe, holding it up triumphantly. 

“Would you like to do the honors?” She said, handing it to Connor. 

Connor took it, and clicked it open. The sight of the necklace filled him with warmth, like coming home and soaking into a hot bath, or waking up on a summer's day knowing that you slept in and feeling fully rested. The red gem glowed happily. Connor pulled the necklace out of the box, then handed the box back to Alana, who put it back in the armoire. 

“Alright,” Connor said. “We give Evan the necklace back, then me and Zoe will get him out of the tank and carry him out of the house through the servants entrance, while Alana keeps him hydrated with the washcloths and buckets we stashed in the collection room.”

Alana and Zoe nodded. Connor smiled. “Let’s go.”

They made their way down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. Connor stopped in front of the door to the collection room, grabbing the handle and opening the door, jittery at the thought of seeing Evan. 

He clutched onto the necklace and walked in, only to be met with an open room, devoid of a large tank in the middle. 

Evan was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hashtag sorry not sorry
> 
> talk to me about fish anatomy on tumblr @aliensinflowercrowns (seriously guys, there were some weird ass google searches in the making of this chapter)
> 
> like comment and sequester


	5. chapter the last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was moving again. He could feel it. Feel the pull of the sea, how it got duller and duller as he moved away.  
> His tank was smaller now. He had screamed when they took him away, but nobody came. Eventually, he gave up on fighting. He went limp in the arms of Man and his friends. They took him out of the water for a moment, sometime during the move. He had never been so hot, so dry. But the strangest thing was how he was leaking. Hot salt water dripped down his face.  
> And now it was dark. His tank went over strange bumps, causing the water to shift and move uncomfortably.  
> Where was Connor?  
> He wanted Connor. He ached for him, his insides were twisted and sore.  
> He heard Man talking with someone. Anger boiled inside of him. He was so tired of this. He wanted out. He wanted his mother. He wanted his Heart. He wanted his Connor.
> 
> \---
> 
> the epic conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter gets kinda heavy, there's some homophobia and illness

Connor felt as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He went rigid, unable to move or think or breathe or do anything. He heard a ringing in his ears, an internal alter system warning him that something was very, very wrong. 

He felt someone’s–Zoe’s–hand on his arm, trying to pull him back to reality. 

“Connor?” she said. 

He didn’t respond. 

“Connor?” 

He needed to do something. Scream. Hit something. Hit someone. He wanted to tear the house apart. How was it that everytime something good came anywhere within his reach it was ripped away right as he tried to grab it. Adam. Evan. Maybe Connor was just destined to be miserable. Miserable and lonely. 

“Connor, please, you’re starting to scare me,” 

“I…” he said, his voice shaking. “I… where… where…”

Zoe seemed to get the message. 

“I don’t know,” she said. “But we’ll find him, it’s going to be okay, it’s all gonna be oh–”

“How the fuck do you know that?!” Connor spun on his sister, his eyes flashing with angry hurt. “He could be dead! Or… or sick! Or lost somewhere, alone and scared!” 

“Connor,” Alana said, stepping in between Connor and Zoe. “You’re jumping to conclusions. You don’t know that. He’s probably fine.”

“He’s  _ gone _ ,” Connor’s voice was a whisper, the anger replaced with a crushing, lonely terror. He knew that he was being irrational. He wasn’t thinking. But he felt as though he couldn’t think. How could he ever do anything again now that Evan was gone. 

He paused for a moment to reflect on how utterly smitten he was. 

“We’re gonna figure this out,” Zoe said, her voice sure. “We’re going to find him.” 

“If I…” Connor began. “If I ever see Jared Kleinman again. I’m going to kill him. I swear to god I’m going to  _ kill _ him.” 

“That’s… okay,” Zoe said. “We’re all having a lot of emotions right now, so I understand where that impulse comes from.” 

“Okay,” Alana said, crossing the room, her skirts swaying as she put her hand on her chin and paced. “We need to think. We have to be… analytical about this. Come up with theories. There’s no way that moving Evan was something that happened on a whim. This must be premeditated. If we can figure out why it happened, then find him will be easier.” 

She plopped down in the middle of the floor, sitting cross-legged. She turned to Zoe and Connor, one eyebrow raised. 

“So?” she asked them. “Theories?”

 

\---

 

He was moving again. He could feel it. Feel the pull of the sea, how it got duller and duller as he moved away. 

His tank was smaller now. He had screamed when they took him away, but nobody came. Eventually, he gave up on fighting. He went limp in the arms of Man and his friends. They took him out of the water for a moment, sometime during the move. He had never been so hot, so dry. But the strangest thing was how he was  _ leaking _ . Hot salt water dripped down his face. 

And now it was dark. His tank went over strange bumps, causing the water to shift and move uncomfortably. 

Where was Connor? 

He wanted Connor. He ached for him, his insides were twisted and sore. 

He heard Man talking with someone. Anger boiled inside of him. He was so tired of this. He wanted out. He wanted his mother. He wanted his Heart. He wanted his Connor. 

 

\---

 

“We know that Jared was studying Evan,” Zoe said. 

The floor of the collection room had various papers strewn about. They had retrieved and lit two candles as to write by their light. Alana held a pencil in her hand, twirling it about as she tried to write her way out of their current predicament. 

Alana nodded at Zoe’s statement, and penciled it down. 

“What does that say?” Connor asked, glancing over her shoulder. 

“It’s shorthand,” Alana responded. Connor looked at her quizzically. She rolled her eyes.  _ Men _ . 

“We know that Jared is a dick,” Connor said. 

“Is that really helpful to the investigation?” Zoe asked, narrowing her eyes at her brother. 

“And that he hates me,” Connor continued. 

“Spite isn’t something we want to disregard,” Alana said, making a few notes. “Emotionally based motivations are just as common as intellectually based ones.” 

“Yeah,  _ Zoe _ ,” Connor said. 

Zoe rolled her eyes. She picked up a blank scrap of paper and started absentmindedly tearing it apart. 

“But our father bought Evan, right? So Jared couldn’t just decide that he wanted to take Evan away to make Connor miserable. He would need to convince our father it was a good idea.” 

“Yeah, but there’s something you’re forgetting,” Connor said. 

“Which is?”

“Larry also hates me.”

“Father doesn’t hate you, Connor.”

“Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand, Zoe.”

Zoe opened her mouth to say something more, but Alana figured she should intervene before the two of them started fighting again and completely derailed the conversation. 

“Connor,” Alana said. “Do you really think that your father would send Evan away just to… upset you? That doesn’t seem reasonable.” 

Connor looked at Alana as if he was going to say something, but after a few seconds of silence, it became clear that he wasn’t. 

“What?” Zoe said. 

“What do you mean?” Alana asked.

“Connor is being petulant. That’s his petulant face.” 

“I am not being petulant. I’m not a child.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Connor scowled, but once again said nothing. 

“Connor,” Alana said, working to keep her voice level. She never knew what would set Connor off. “If we don’t have all of the information, we won’t be able to accurately solve the problem at hand.”

“Jared…” Connor began. He balled his fist up in his shirt, clearly struggling to get the words out of his mouth. “When I punched him, it was because he accused me of having… unholy temptations. Towards Evan.” 

Alana’s eyes widened. The pieces of information that she had gathered surrounding Connor began to fall together into place. Zoe, however, did not seem to understand quite yet. 

“What do you mean?” Zoe asked. “He thought that you and Evan… that you… that’s ridiculous.”

Connor didn’t say anything. 

“Even if it is, there’s no basis for it. If he tried to go to father with that, there’s no way that he would believe him. It’s not like you’ve ever gotten in trouble for that sort of thing before.” 

Alana carefully watched Connor. He stared at the floor, barely moving, not saying a word. 

“The only other boy you ever spent time with was that one servant a few years back. What was his name. Alan, or something?” 

“His name was Adam,” Connor whispered finally. 

“Right, Adam,” Zoe said. “But you two weren’t–” She stopped dead. “Or… were you?” Her eyes finally fell on her brother’s hunched over form. “Connor?” she asked. “Are you–”

“Yes.” 

“And Evan?”

“Yes.” 

“Oh.” 

The room felt as if it was filled with glass, and any sudden movement could result in everyone shattered and hurt. 

Zoe rose slowly, and took careful, silent steps towards her brother. Alana watched with bated breath as she sat down next to him and rested her head carefully on his hunched shoulders. Connor let out a shuddering breath. 

“Me too,” Zoe whispered. 

Connor’s head snapped up. 

“What?” 

Zoe shrugged. 

“With… what… with who?” 

Alana raised a hand and smiled slightly. “Hi,” she said, feeling her face go hot. 

“I can’t fuckin’ believe this,” Connor said. 

Zoe snorted. “Wild, right?” Her eyes softened as she looked back to her brother. “I understand how much Evan means to you. And we’re going to get him back. I promise.” 

 

\---

 

He felt as though he had been in this darkness for years. He was too far away from the water. He could barely feel it. His water was too stagnant. He flung himself against the glass. The sound reverberated around him, making his ears hurt. 

He was so warm. Too too warm. He shuddered. He wanted Connor. He felt heavy. There was something wrong with him. His fins were wrong. They were dark at the edges, and they hurt. It hurt to swim. He coughed, and blood flushed out of his gills. 

He wondered if he would ever see his mother again. If he would ever swim with his shoal again. Feel the current of the ocean. 

He wondered if he would ever see Connor again. If he would ever kiss Connor. Hold him again. He wanted to swim with him. He wanted Connor to meet his mother. 

He wondered if he was going to die. 

 

\---

 

Tensions were high at breakfast. Dana flitted in and out of the kitchen, keeping her head down. Connor sat across the table from his father, glaring. His hair was a mess and there were bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. He had not touched his food. 

“Connor,” Cynthia asked, trepidation in her voice. “Is there something wrong with your food, darling?” 

Connor did not respond. He didn’t trust himself to speak. 

“Connor–” Larry started. 

“Where’s Evan?” Zoe asked, cutting their father off. 

“What do you mean?” Larry asked. His voice was laced with practiced diplomacy. 

“He’s gone. We–I–um, went to see him this morning. To say hi. And he wasn’t there. His tank was gone.” 

Larry cleared his throat. He didn’t look at Zoe, rather, he elected to stare at Connor. “Well,” he said. “I was speaking with Jared, and we both decided that Evan should be taken to a university further inland, where he can be properly studied.”

“Further inland?” Zoe asked. “Isn’t that… dangerous?”

“What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t he need to be near the sea? And it can’t be healthy for him to travel with so far–”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Cynthia said, cutting in. “Jared is a scientist, he knows what he’s doing.”

“Besides,” Larry said. “It doesn’t really matter much.”

“Why not?” Zoe asked. 

“I’ve been in contact with Jared’s university. They’ve gotten as much information out of Evan as possible with him being alive. They’re going to dissect him.” 

Connor exploded. He was out of his chair, and in a split second he had his father by the lapels of his shirt. He was much stronger than he had been at age sixteen. His breath was hot as he growled, “Bring. Him. Back.”

“Connor!” Cynthia shouted. 

Connor shook his father, who seemed to be shocked. “BRING HIM BACK!” He screamed. Hot, angry tears ran down his face. 

“Connor please,” Cynthia said, trying to move closer to him. Zoe grabbed her arm. 

“No, mother, don’t,” she said. 

“Connor,” Larry growled. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Connor yelled. “You can’t do this! You can’t…” His face was bloated. “You can’t let them do this,” he choked out between sobs. 

“Connor,  _ please _ ,” Cynthia said again. 

Connor abruptly released his father and whirled around on Cynthia. “He’s going to kill him!” He shouted. “He’s going to kill him and it’s going to be my fault!” 

“Connor, darling, they’re not going to kill him, it’s just for science–”

“Do you hear yourself?!” Zoe interjected. “He’s not a fucking… he’s a person! A person that we care about!” 

“Zoe,” Larry said, as he tried to put himself back together. “Connor. Both of you stop this nonsense at once.”

“It’s not nonsense!” Connor said. “You’re just… you’re a fucking coward. And you won’t admit it. You’re only having Evan sent away because… because of me.” 

“Why would it be because of you?” Cynthia asked. 

“Because I’m a homosexual, mother.” 

There was a beat of shocked silence. 

“No,” Cynthia said. “No… you… you can’t be, you–”

“I  _ am _ , Cynthia,” Connor said. “And he knows.” He pointed at Larry. 

“You  _ knew _ ?” 

“You,” Larry growled out. “I  _ told _ you. I told you what would happen if you said anything about this.”

“What are you going to do?” Connor asked. “Are you going to throw me out of the house? Go the fuck ahead. And when people see me on the street and ask what happened, I’ll tell them. I’ll tell them everything. And where will you be? With no male heirs and a tarnished reputation.”

“Connor–”

“Throw me out!” Connor yelled. “I don’t fucking care! Go ahead! You have… you have taken away everything I’ve ever fucking cared about. I don’t give a shit about this! Any of this!”

He felt near hysterics. 

“You can’t mean that,” Cynthia said. “You can’t… this isn’t happening. There’s no way that any of this is happening–”

“It’s happening!” Connor yelled. “It’s all fucking happening. And what are you gonna do about it? Disown me? Kill me? Fine! I. Don’t. Care.” 

Larry was shaking with anger. Connor wouldn’t be surprised if he did try to kill him. 

“Stop!” Zoe yelled. “Everyone just… fucking stop.” To her surprise, everyone did. “If… Larry,” she said, turning to her father, who was too distracted by the pure chaos happening around him to become indignant at his daughter’s disrespect. “If Connor marries Alana, and… and promises to stay with her, to have children with her and provide for her and all of that, will you release Evan?” 

“I will not be–”

“Will you release Evan!” 

“If… if Connor ceases all of this nonsense and goes through with the wedding, then I could maybe be persuaded… but, I don’t want that temptation in my house–”

“He wouldn’t be in your house. You would need to release him back to the ocean.” 

“Well, that–”

“He’ll do it,” Cynthia said, cutting Larry off. 

“Cynthia–”

“He’ll release Evan to the ocean.” 

Zoe nodded. 

“Connor,” she said. “If Larry promises to bring Evan back and release him, will you marry Alana, and… have babies with her and all that other shit I said?”

“Of course,” Connor said. “I would do anything for Evan.” 

“Then it’s settled,” Zoe said. “Evan will be returned and released, and we’ll just… we’ll pretend all of this never happened.” 

 

\---

 

“What was that sound?” Jared asked. 

His professor looked up at him. He was busy reading something. They’d been riding in the carriage for days, and Jared was bored out of his mind. He hadn’t been planning to leave the Murphy household, but his professor sent him a correspondence letter saying that he and Evan were needed back at the university, and that Mr. Murphy had signed off on it, so away they went. 

“I’m not sure,” his professor said. 

“It sounded like it came from Ev–I mean–the specimen’s cart. We should probably go make sure he’s okay.” 

His professor sighed. “Alright.” He signaled for the carriage driver to pull over. Jared hurried out of his carriage car and towards Evan’s. He opened the door and crawled in, towards the tank that Evan was being kept in. 

“Oh my god,” he said, horrified, when he saw Evan. His skin was sallow. His cheeks were sunken in. His gills were inflamed, and there was blood in the water. He was laying, eyes closed, at the bottom of the tank. But the worst sight was his fins. The edges of his tailfin and the fins on his arms were black and rotted. The scales were peeling. 

“That is… unfortunate,” Jared’s professor said. 

“Unfortunate?” Jared repeated. “This is horrible! We… we have to help him!” 

“What’s the use?” His professor asked. “After all, we’re just going to dissect him when we get back to the university.” 

“What?” Jared squawked. “You can’t do that! We… think of all we could learn from him! You can’t just kill him!” 

His professor sighed. “Careful, Mr. Kleinman. You sound as if you’ve gotten attached to the specimen.” 

“I haven’t gotten attached I just–”

“Besides, I’m under direct orders from Mr. Murphy to terminate the specimen and use his body for research purposes. And since he is Mr. Murphy’s legal property…”

“But,” Jared spluttered. “You can’t–”

“I think you’ll find, Mr. Kleinman, that I can.” 

Jared looked at Evan, in the tank. He looked at his professor. He considered his life up to this point. He thought about the Murphys, about Connor and Zoe and Alana. He looked at Evan again. 

And then he punched his professor in the face. 

“Fuck!” Jared yelled, as his professor crumpled, out like a candle. Jared wrung out his hand. He was so, so fucked. He glared at the mermaid in the tank. “After all this shit I’m about to go through, you better not fucking die.” 

He pulled his professor out of the carriage car and gently laid him in the field next to the road. He would be fine. Jared checked his pulse to make sure. 

He got back in the main carriage car, signaling for the driver to turn around.

“Turn around?” The carriage driver asked. “Are you sure Mr… what happened to the other fellow?”

Jared sighed. “I will give you fifty pounds to turn around and take us back without any questions.”

“Yes, sir!” 

 

\---

 

When he dreamt, he dreamt of Connor. 

 

\---

 

“It’s been three days!” Connor said, pacing around the collection room, his footsteps loud and angry. “Where is he!” 

“These things take time, Connor,” Cynthia said, trying to soothe him. Outside, thunder boomed, adding the soundtrack of the pounding rain. The sea was angry against the wharf, with large waves crashing onto the shore. “With this storm… the telegram probably hasn’t gotten to them yet.” 

“What if it’s too late? What if he–”

His dreadful musings were interrupted by the door of the collection room bursting open, to reveal Zoe, with wild eyes and messy hair. She was drenched. 

“Zoe!” Cynthia exclaimed. Zoe paid her no mind, running to Connor and grabbing his arm. 

“Jared’s here,” she said, breathlessly. 

“I’m gonna fuckin–” 

“There’s no time. He has Evan and…” Connor noticed the sheen of tears in her eyes. “He doesn’t look good, Connor.” 

Connor followed her out into the pouring rain. Jared was there next to a carriage. He looked sleep deprived and haggard. 

“You motherfucker–” Connor started. 

“I’m sorry,” Jared said. “I didn’t… I didn’t know.” 

“You two can deal with your unbridled testosterone later,” Zoe said. She climbed into the back carriage car. Connor followed her, seeing a large tank inside. 

“Oh my god,” Connor said, upon seeing Evan. The water of the too small tank was tinged with blood and bile. Black encroached on his fins. His breathing was scattered, and his eyelids were fluttering. Without thinking, Connor climbed the side of the tank and jumped in, grabbing Evan’s torso and pulling him up. He grabbed the side of the tank, breaking the surface of the water as he took a deep breath. 

“Help me get him out,” he said. 

Jared and Zoe ran towards him, helping him climb out of the tank while still holding Evan. Once he was on solid ground, he situated Evan so that he was carrying him bridal style, and started running for the wharf, ignoring Zoe and Jared’s cries behind him. 

Rain pounded against Connor’s skin, tiny bullets of freezing water. The wind blew him back, and the salted sea spray coated his body in a thin layer of brine, but he kept going. He ran past his house, down the familiar dunes, his feet freezing and covered in wet sand as he approached the stormy beach. 

“Someone!” He yelled towards the sea. “Help me! Help me, please, he’s going to die!” 

He ran towards the sea. A wave crashed over him, almost dragging him down. Connor spluttered. Evan stirred in his arms. 

And then, he saw her. A woman in the sea. Her hair was long, and blonde. She was older and she looked… oddly familiar. Connor ran towards her. 

She gasped when she saw Evan in her arms, and reached out towards him, making strange sounds that Connor didn’t understand. 

Idly, Connor noticed that Evan’s fins were the same color as his mother’s. 

Connor waded into the ocean, coming to meet her. She swam towards him, working against the current. Her clawed hands scraped against Connor’s skin as she pulled her son from him. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Connor yelled, hoping that she understood him. The mermaid turned towards Connor, fixing him with a scrutinizing look before giving him a short, quick nod. 

Relief flooded Connor’s body. The mermaid turned away from him, about to take Evan back where he belonged. 

“Wait!” Connor yelled. She turned back to him, and he could sense her desperate impatience. Connor reached into his pocket, and pulled out the warm stone that he’d been carrying around with him for the past few days. The mermaid gasped at the sight of it. Connor moved closer to Evan, and slipped the necklace over his head. It pulsed against his throat. It looked right. 

Connor wanted to say more, but before he could, Zoe and Jared were pulling him out of the sea, and Evan and his mother were gone. 

 

\---

 

The wedding of Connor Murphy and Alana Beck was to be a joyous affair, for everyone but the betrothed. And Zoe. She definitely wasn’t happy either. 

It was a nice day in the spring. The air was warm, with a cool breeze coming in from the calm seas. Connor sat, his suit jacket off and his tie loose, on the beach. The calm waves lapped at his legs. 

He was overcome with a profound melancholy. His anger had left him, and he felt nothing more than a shell of his former fiery self, resigned to his fate to become just like every other unhappy rich man he knew. 

He hadn’t seen Evan since the night of the storm, where he’d been returned to the sea. Connor was positive he would never see Evan again, and if not for the testimonies of Zoe and Alana, he would think that he’d dreamt up the entire thing. Still, he regularly went down to the beach, just to gaze at the sea and wonder. 

Was Evan alright? 

Was he happy?

Had he found some nice merperson to give his Heart to? 

Connor was so lost in thought, that he didn’t notice the first splash of water on his face. He was so lost in thought that he almost didn’t notice the second, significantly larger splash. He blinked twice, rubbing the salt water out of his eyes. 

“What the hell?” he said. 

“Connor!” A familiar voice said.

Connor jolted. There was no way. But sure enough, as he looked out at the ocean, he saw the bobbing, smiling head of Evan. 

Not caring about the lecture he would get from his mother later, Connor ran out to meet Evan, drenching his clothing as he got far enough that he was up to his chest in water. 

Evan swam towards him, wrapping his arms around Connor and pulling him towards his chest. Connor felt himself being lifted off of the sea floor as Evan embraced him. Evan pulled him a little further into the ocean, and Connor had to hold himself up by holding onto Evan’s arm. 

“Evan,” Connor said. “You’re… you’re okay, and you’re… oh my god why are you here, it could be dangerous and I–”

“I didn’t… want to… to miss your… wedding,” Evan said, in his deep, rusted voice. 

Connor laughed bitterly. “Don’t remind me.” 

“I am glad to… see you,” Evan said. “Thank you. For saving me.” 

“I…” Connor said. “Of course. You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad to see you’re alive.” 

Evan smiled. 

“Do you… love The Alana?” 

Connor snorted in surprise. “Fuck no,” he said. His voice softened. “I love… someone else.” 

Evan cocked his head. 

“You, idiot,” Connor said. “I love… I love you.” 

Evan grinned, his sharp teeth glinting in the sun. 

Their lips connected, and Connor would gladly spend the rest of his life kissing Evan. They kissed hungrily, trying to get as much of each other as possible. 

Eventually, they had to break for air. 

“I… have something… for you,” Evan said. “A gift.” 

“You don’t–”

Evan reached up to his neck, and slipped his necklace off over his head. He steadied Connor in the water, and draped his Heart over Connor’s head. He pressed the ruby against Connor’s neck. It glowed warm against his cold skin. 

“Evan,” Connor whispered. “I can’t… I can’t take your Heart.”

“You took it… a long time ago.” 

 

\---

 

Little Zoe Murphy was five years old. She was Little Zoe Murphy because her aunt was Big Zoe Murphy. Big Zoe Murphy lived with Little Zoe Murphy and her Mom and Dad. 

Little Zoe Murphy was very happy. She liked her big house. She liked her parents. She liked her aunt. She liked her little brother Adam, even if he was a drooly baby. She liked the beach, and the ocean.

She and her Daddy would take walks on the beach a lot. Sometimes her Daddy took walks by himself, and her Mom made her stay inside. She didn’t like that. 

They held hands as they walked on the beach. Their feet were bare, and their hair was windswept. Her Daddy looked at the ocean, and his eyes were sad. 

“Daddy?” Little Zoe Murphy asked. 

“Hmm?”

“Why do you always wear that necklace? Aren’t necklaces for girls?” 

Her Daddy laughed. He leaned down and picked her up. She laughed, and picked up her Daddy’s necklace. It was warm in her hand. 

“Zoe?” he asked. 

“Yeah?”

“Have I ever told you about the mermaid in my basement?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't expect this fic to take a year to write, but it be like that sometimes i guess. thanks for reading and sticking with me! 
> 
> follow me on tumblr @ipretwins
> 
> like comment and socioeconomics


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